10years of Insurrection

[Sonic Glitch]

http://trekmovie.com/2008/12/11/10th-an ... urrection/

When examined this way, it's really not a bad film. I think it's one of those films that take more time to appreciate. Like TMP. I find myself appreciating TMP more and more recently as I rewatch it than i did a few years ago.

[Sionnach Glic]

It sucks, and is based on horrid ethics. End of.

On another note, if I'd known it was the tenth aniversary, I'd have gotten my script for it up in time.

[Aaron]

It sucks, and is based on horrid ethics. End of.

On another note, if I'd known it was the tenth aniversary, I'd have gotten my script for it up in time.

QFT. But it was funny to see the trend of turning Data into a retarded swiss army knife continuing.

[Captain Seafort]

If anything the first draft sounds like a far more interesting film than the finished article. Making the Federation a real enemy, rather than a bunch of idiots who had the wool pulled over their eyes by first the Son'a, then Riker, would have been far more compelling, and the apparent intention to Alderaan a planet, population be damned, to get at its resources would have been a genuine moral wrong, unlike the touchy-feely relocation we got.

[RK_Striker_JK_5]

I would've liked Boothby applauding Picard.

[Tsukiyumi]

...the touchy-feely relocation we got.

Seriously. They were going to wait until they were asleep, and transport them unknowingly. Not exactly the Trail of Tears, there.

[Sionnach Glic]

Hell, I can't even see what's so wrong with that. They were going to put them in a virtualy identical environment, and the resources gained from doing so could have helped hundreds of billions of people. The Baku were just plain jackasses.

Make the resource in question less necessary, the antagonists more brutal and the Baku more than a couple hundred selfish Amish guys.

If I were writing the film, I'd have made it a lot different. The basic premise has a lot of possibility, but they went the completely wrong way with it.

Here's my version (be warned, this is long):
My version would be set during the closing days of the Dominion War, when the Dominion began sending its uber-fleet to the AQ.

The opening takes place on Earth, at SFHQ, where an admiral is being briefed on the current rate of losses, and the ETA of the Dominion uber-fleet. It's revealed that Starfleet is running out of Bullshit Element A, which is needed to construct warp cores for new ships. A little later, the admiral contacts a shady S31 operative, who reveals he has found an incredibly high amount of Bullshit Element A, and asks for a small flotila of mining ships to exploit these resources. The admiral agrees.

Cut to the E-E, which is busy serving on the frontline. It's hunting down a Jem'hadar cruiser that has been preying on civilian shipping in the sector. They persue the cruiser into the Baku system, where it's finaly destroyed. Picard notices the small flotila of Fed ships and hails them to find out just what the fuck they're doing in a neutral system that's supposed to be left alone under the PD.

The S31 guy in we saw earlier reapears as commander of the small fleet of civilian ships, claiming to be a Starfleet Commodore, and tells Picard that they're under orders to retrieve a Federation diplomat who was engaged in talks with the Baku. He explains that the locals had begun supplying the Dominion with Bullshit Element A, and the diplomat had been kidnapped by the Baku's military. He says that the Baku are openly fighting against them and destroyed the unarmed civilian ship they sent to retrieve the diplomat and are now holding the survivors of the crew, said to number 500, hostage. He points out the shattered hulk of a Federation ship on the planet as proof of his story.

By this point, both Picard and the audience are led to believe that the S31 agent's story is true, and that the Baku, who are about as advanced as modern day Earth, are the bad guys. The real truth only starts to unravel bit by bit later.

Picard offers to go down and try to re-establish relations himself. The agent tries to dissuade him, but Picard is insistant that it's his duty to try and resolve it without further bloodshed. The agent agrees to let him go, but then contacts the Baku government and says that he is dispatching a shuttle full of marines to arrest the planet's leaders for the deaths of the crew of the destroyed ship. Not too pleased with this threat, the Baku lob a nuke at Picard's shuttle when it enters the atmosphere. The ship crashes on the outskirts of a city, and Picard is quickly captured by the Baku military.

Back in space, Riker is now given a field promotion to captain by the S31 agent. The agent orders Riker to destroy the Baku's planetary defence array, which is a series of ground to space missile silos scattered across the planet, so that they can move into range to beam up Picard and the diplomat. Riker is hesitant, particularly when Data observes that several of these silos are located close to civilian population centres, but the agent points out that the Baku have effectively declared war and that it's the only way to rescue the hostages, including Picard. He follows this up by threatening to court-martial Riker if he refuses. Seeing no other option, Riker opens fire.

Down on Baku, Picard is being transported to a prison complex when a photon torpedo strikes the edge of the city, causing massive damage to the city and a lot of civilian casualties. He witnesses the destruction firsthand, and is shocked at the carnage.

Back in space, the S31 agent sends a message to the admiral he was talking with at the start of the movie, and asks for troops to invade the planet so that they can begin strip-mining the planet by force. The admiral agrees to divert some troops that were heading to assist in the liberation of Betazed, along with some warships that were escorting them.

Down on the planet, Picard meets the planetary president, who fills Picard in on the details the audience hasn't figured out yet: the S31 guy isn't a commodore, they want to strip-mine the planet which would destroy the ecosystem of the planet and cause mass suffering, and the destroyed ship the S31 guy pointed out earlier was actualy a mining ship that attempted to force its way onto the planet despite the Baku's warnings. He also reveals that there is no diplomat, and that all the crew of the mining ship were killed in the attack.

Picard sends a message from the Baku's comms system to Riker, revealing all the info to him. Riker attempts to relay the message to Starfleet, but the S31 agent jams his transmission. Riker confronts the S31 agent about the situation, and the agent admits that it's all true, but that the resources are necessary to keep the Federation's war machine running against the Dominion. Riker moves the E-E agains the S31 agent's unarmed ship, intending to knock out its shields and capture him, but then the reinforcements that the admiral promised earlier turns up, including an Akira and a pair of Nebulas as escorts. The S31 agent jams the E-E's comms, and tells the guy in charge of the fleet that Riker has killed Picard and gone rogue with the E-E, intending to sell it to the Dominion. Riker is forced to engage the Federation warships against his will, but is forced to withdraw when the Akira knocks out the ship's shields. Before retreating, he swoops into orbit around Baku and beams up Picard.

Picard and Riker, hiding at the edge of the system, discuss what to do next. The S31 agent clearly has friends in high places to have an entire flotilla dispatched to assist him, so they figure that running back to Earth and trying to tell Starfleet Command will achieve nothing in time to help the Baku. Their only real option to save the Baku would mean engaging loyal Federation crewmen.

As they're debating whether they should engage the Federation ships, Data tells them that a dozen or so transport ships, each containing about 10,000 Federation troops, have begun moving towards the now defenceless planet. Picard realises that if he wants to save the Baku, he'll have to engage the transports.

The E-E drops out of warp between Baku and the transports, which are protected by the Akira and Nebulas from earlier. Picard tries to convince them to stand down, but the Akira's captain doesn't believe him and the two warships engage the E-E. A fierce battle ensues. One Nebula is crippled, and forced to withdraw, while the second loses power after taking a hit to the reactor, but the E-E has also taken a pounding. The Akira unleashes a salvo of torps at the E-E, causing massive damage to the ship. The E-E hits the Akira's engines with a Qtorp, and knocks out its warp core. The now powerless ships begins plumeting towards the planet. Picard tries to save the ship with a tractor beam, but the emitters were knocked out earlier in the fight. Picard can do nothing as he watches the ship and its loyal crew burn up in the atmosphere.

With their escorts gone, Picard orders the lightly armed transports to stand down, but they refuse and open fire. Picard disables most of them, but some of them get past and begin landing troops on the ground. A battle erupts on the ground as Federation troops try to sieze the capital, but the loss of the other transports means they have nowhere near the numbers necessary. The fighting is bloody, with heavy casualties on both sides and colatoral damage among the city, but eventualy the Federation ground commander surrenders to the Baku military.

Picard now moves his ship against the S31 agent and the group of mining ships, but the S31 agent decides to run for it instead and flees the system in his ship. The other mining ships all surrender to the E-E.

A few days later, and the battle on the ground has finaly come to an end, with the Federation troops realising that they've no hope of victory. The E-E has spent the last few days being repaired to the best of the Baku's abilities, and Picard is ready to take delegation from Baku to try to convince Starfleet that Picard's actions were right.

However, before he can leave two more Federation ships arrive in the system. The USS Sovereign under the command of the admiral, and a ship of unknown design. The admiral warns Picard to surrender or be destroyed. Picard refuses, and flees to the opposite side of the planet, knowing his crippled ship is no match for the Sovereign.

When they're safe from the Sovereign, Picard hails the unidentified ship. The S31 agent is commanding it, and he reveals that it is a special and unique ship created by Section 31: a mobile chemical weapons plant. He says that he is going to use the ship to wipe out all life on Baku, and tear the planet apart for its resources unopposed.

Picard, not willing to sit back and let billions die, realises that he has to take down that ship. He moves into position to attack, following the Chemical Plant as it moves into orbit, but the Sovereign intercepts him. The two engage each other in an epic battle, with both ships going all-out to destroy each other.
The more experienced crew of the Enterprise briefly manages to gain the upper hand and inflict some damage on the Sovereign, but a pair of Qtorps slams into the engineering hull and knocks the ship's weapons out of action.

The admiral hails Picard, ordering him to surrender or be destroyed. Picard pretends to surrender, and claims that he needs to evacuate his ship due to a reactor leak. The admiral sits back smugly and agrees to pick the crew up later, after the Baku are wiped out. Picard orders all the crew and officers off the ship, but doesn't follow. When the last of the escape pods are jetisoned, Picard sends the Enterprise hurtling at the Sovereign at full impulse.

The E-E slams into the Sovereign, but neither ships is destroyed by the impact. A phaser beam from the Sovereign destroys the E-E's bridge, killing Picard. The admiral smugly compliments his tac officer on his accuracy, but there's bad news for him: the collision knocked out helm control. With a Data-esque "oh shit", the Sovereign plows into the Chemical Plant, igniting the volitile chemicals aboard and destroying both ships, killing the S31 agent and the admiral.

Cut to a few weeks later, and we're back at Earth. The E-E is undergoing extensive repairs and Riker has briefed Starfleet HQ on what happened. It's revealed that the Federation is currently engaged in peace talks with the Dominion, and the over-worked construction yards have finaly been allowed to fall silent for a while. Riker is promoted to captain of the E-E, whose first mission is to escort a supply convoy heading for Baku to assist in repairing the damage caused by the brief war. Riker walks out of HQ, heading to his shuttle, and pauses briefly to salute a newly erected monument to the late Picard before setting off on his first mission.
Cue credits.

And there it is. There's no Amish, no alien bad guys of the week. The bad guys are simply loyal Federation officers who were following the wrong orders.
And, best of all, no fucking Nemesis.

[Sonic Glitch]

As someone who likes the Amish, or at least the idea of them and someone who liked Nemesis. at least the ideas of it, I disagree with parts of your draft, but overall it was decent. I agree with the other comments that the original draft would have been better.

[Mikey]

I'd have gotten my script for it up in time.

No, you wouldn't.

[Sonic Glitch]

I'd have gotten my script for it up in time.

Hey in another 10years it'll be the 20th Anniversary, you oughta be just in time. Or maybe if you really push yourself you'll have it in time for the 15th anniversary.

[Reliant121]

Or maybe if you really push yourself you'll have it in time for the 15th anniversary.

Don't push it too far

[drakkillus darksunn]

Well, I thought that was pretty good, although we could keep Picard alive and still manage to avoid Nemesis

[Sionnach Glic]

Or maybe if you really push yourself you'll have it in time for the 15th anniversary.

Woah, woah, let's not go crazy here.

[stitch626]

Hey Rochey, you should writ the next Trek film. It would easilly revive the franchise.

[Mark]

I like your script Rochey...........except the only thing that I'd change is that Picard is "presumed" killed, and makes a later apperance as a S31 prisioner.............which could have provided a lead in to the next Non-Nemesis movie.