Just another day on the Enterprise 1701-D

[00111010 01000100]

“Lt. Obvious log, the Soliton wave worked great at first but now it’s accelerating and damaged the ship in a unusual energy shift and change, the test craft it was pushing has been destroyed and the captain has called a meeting in the briefing room.....”

Later on, in the main conference room....

PICARD: Report. 


LAFORGE: The soliton wave has continued to increase in .. (he pauses as Worf and Lt. Obvious enter the room)

WORF: Excuse me.

LT. OBVIOUS: me too


LAFORGE: The soliton wave has continued to increase in power. Its energy level has risen by a factor of ninety six. At its current rate of acceleration, the wave should hit the planet in a couple of hours. 


LT. OBVIOUS: soooo this thing is creating its own energy.. out of nothing and no one here finds that amazing and impossible?

PICARD: How do we stop it?

LAFORGE: Well, there are two possibilities. We could attempt to use our own warp engines to generate an inverse-resonance wave. If we could match the exact frequency and amplitude of the soliton, we should be able to neutralise it.

LT. OBVIOUS: oooooor... how about the receiving station creates the cancellation wave as planned early to see if it can expand and terminate this wave?

RIKER: You don't sound very confident.

LT. OBVIOUS: (sarcastically copies Riker) “confident”? no, commander, he doesn’t sound very smart... there’s a HUGE difference.

DATA: Because the soliton is constantly changing in both frequency and amplitude, it will be extremely difficult to achieve an exact match.

PICARD: Let's hear the second option.

LAFORGE: It's a little more dangerous, but I think there's a better chance for success. We could create a backfire, an explosive force set off just in front of the soliton wave. A large enough explosion, say five photon torpedoes, should be enough to disrupt the wave and allow it to dissipate. 


PICARD: How fast is the wave travelling now?

DATA: Warp six point three seven.

LAFORGE: The good news is we can catch it. The bad news is that in order to set up this backfire we have to be in front of it. 

DATA: Which would require the Enterprise to go through the wave.

LT. OBVIOUS: wait... what??


RIKER: Why can't we go around it?

LT. OBVIOUS: exactly!? What he said.

DATA: The wave has been growing in size as well as power. There is insufficient time remaining for us to circumvent it before it reaches Lemma Two.

LT. OBVIOUS: ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? How big is this thing now, the three dimensional size of a solar system!? And I think you meant “Circumnavigate” Commander Data? Go run a diagnostics on your positronic subroutines


PICARD: How much protection will the shields provide if we attempt to penetrate the wave?

LT. OBVIOUS: OR how about we fire torpedoes through the wave AND explode the torpedoes after they’ve gotten in front of the wave.... just a thought.

WORF: The shields have not been fully restored. Shield strength is down to thirty three percent.

LT. OBVIOUS: yeah! See! Low shields, let’s NOT go through the Astronomical Unit-sized, dangerous energy wave! Any better suggestions????


RIKER: It's going to be quite a ride.

LT. OBVIOUS:?!... but it doesn’t have to be!

PICARD: It's a better choice.

LT. OBVIOUS: no, no it’s not...

PICARD: Lay in a course for the soliton wave.

LT. OBVIOUS: None of you are even listening to me are you?...

[00111010 01000100]

This was just for fun. I added the false Lt. Obvious text lines to the actual script from the TNG episode “New Ground”. This is purely for humor and to laugh at, I hope no one takes insult to it as it’s meant as a humorous post, nothing more.

**I will address an error to obvious**

circumvent (Verb)
->to avoid or get around something; to bypass
->to surround or besiege
->to outwit or outsmart


circumnavigate (Verb)
->To travel completely around somewhere or something, especially by sail.

So Commander Data’s (spiners) verb is correct for going around the wave.

[AlexMcpherson79]

For a moment I thought u were gonna put soemthinglikr "captain Janeway won't b happy"...

[00111010 01000100]

For a moment I thought u were gonna put soemthinglikr "captain Janeway won't b happy"...

Hahaha. It tickles.
When it comes to admiral janeway, the only thing that makes her character happy is fighting with others. Think about it, whenever she had no one to fight or argue with, she would go hide in her quarters. She even wished for a borg confrontation to have something to do. Woman thrived on conflict.

[RK_Striker_JK_5]

Okay, that got a real-life chuckle out of me. Clever.

[AlexMcpherson79]

Space. The Final Frontier. These are the Voyages of Lieutenant Obvious, his continuing mission, the point out strange logic, the seek out the correct course of action. To Say 'that's stupid where no one has said it before.

[00111010 01000100]

Space. The Final Frontier. These are the Voyages of Lieutenant Obvious, his continuing mission, the point out strange logic, the seek out the correct course of action. To Say 'that's stupid where no one has said it before.

Lol.

[RK_Striker_JK_5]

It's a shame this wasn't an actual character. He could've become the sacred god of facepalming instead of Picard.