United Earth: Chapter 5 is finaly here!

Show us your fanfic, original stories, poems, etc
Sionnach Glic
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Post by Sionnach Glic »

Yay! Thanks. :D
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Post by Mikey »

The continuing idea which I like is that you've been able to portray life aboard the ship in a recognizably military style, while not sacrificing the sci-fi feel.
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Sionnach Glic
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Post by Sionnach Glic »

Thanks. I tried from the start to keep a military feel to the whole thing, and promised myself it wouldn't meander anywhere near Trek's way of dealing with militaries.
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Post by Aaron »

Good read, just one little nitpick. The military only says "repeat" over the radio in regards to requesting fire. It's a major no-no to use it otherwise, it causes fraticide.

Other than that, I really enjoyed it.
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Post by Sionnach Glic »

Good read, just one little nitpick.
Thank you, and I'm always on the lookout for constructive criticism. :)
The military only says "repeat" over the radio in regards to requesting fire. It's a major no-no to use it otherwise, it causes fraticide.
Ah, wasn't aware of that, thanks.

So, for example, a sentance like "All ships fire on the flagship, I repeat; all ships fire on the flagship" would be a correct use of the word "repeat" in the military, whereas "Ensign, bring me some coffee, I repeat, bring me some coffee" would be the incorrect usage?

What would they use instead?
Other than that, I really enjoyed it.
Cool, thanks. :)
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Post by Captain Seafort »

Rochey wrote:So, for example, a sentance like "All ships fire on the flagship, I repeat; all ships fire on the flagship" would be a correct use of the word "repeat" in the military, whereas "Ensign, bring me some coffee, I repeat, bring me some coffee" would be the incorrect usage?
Not quite - the word "repeat" is used as a specific instruction to fire on a specific target again, with no fall-of-shot correction required.

If used in the sense of saying a specific instruction or piece of information again, the phrase used would be "say again".

For the two examples you used, the correct radio procedure would be

"All ships fire on the flagship, I say again; all ships fire on the flagship"

It's also used in cases of interference, like so:

1st person: *distorted gibberish*
2nd person: "Say again, over"
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Post by Sionnach Glic »

Ah, now I understand. Thanks. :)
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Post by Aaron »

Captain Seafort wrote:
1st person: *distorted gibberish*
2nd person: "Say again, over"
It would be "say again your last, over" actually with NATO voice procedure. Then if you get gibberish again, it becomes "say again your last, words twice", which means say every word twice IE: "grid I set budweiser" would become "grid grid I I set set Budweiser Budwesier".
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Post by Sionnach Glic »

That'll probably come in being handy to know, thanks.
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Post by Deepcrush »

About damn time!

Great read, nice to see you still got it.
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Post by Sionnach Glic »

Thanks, I should be updating it more regularly now that MS Word has stopped being a bitch.
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Post by Deepcrush »

Did you pimp slap the bitch! :lol:
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Post by Sionnach Glic »

No, but I did give it a good kicking. :)
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Post by Deepcrush »

GOALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL! 8)
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