The Elenir Universe (c)

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Deepcrush
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Re: The Elenir Universe (c)

Post by Deepcrush »

I think you should fully describe the first nation. Then worry about the people to the north or west or south or east of them. Your fluff seems to carry little pieces of detail about each nation but it doesn't paint the Big Picture as well. IMO the best approch is to make one group well known and then build from there.
Jinsei wa cho no yume, shi no tsubasa no bitodesu
Monroe
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Re: The Elenir Universe (c)

Post by Monroe »

I did.. I guess I didn't post it like that. The main nations have an incredible amount more information but I wanted it to be kind of a balanced look in this post.
How many Minbari does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None. They always surrender right before they finish the job and never tell you why.

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Deepcrush
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Re: The Elenir Universe (c)

Post by Deepcrush »

I guess the problem for me is that the info was so spread out. I find it easier when factions are discribed in summary instead of piecemeal. IMO of course.
Jinsei wa cho no yume, shi no tsubasa no bitodesu
Monroe
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Re: The Elenir Universe (c)

Post by Monroe »

I gotcha. My fault with that. I'll post a segment of my book soon so you can get a sample of the writing style since the page I posted earlier has undergone so many revisions and was just a random battle :p
How many Minbari does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None. They always surrender right before they finish the job and never tell you why.

-Remain Star Trek-
Monroe
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Posts: 5837
Joined: Sun Jul 22, 2007 3:17 am

Re: The Elenir Universe (c)

Post by Monroe »

Crazy it is exactly a year off from when I made this thread :P So I pretty much have book 1 done and I have book 2 halfway finished. But I am needing someone who wants to read through it and tear it apart with their opinions of it. Anyone up for the task?
How many Minbari does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None. They always surrender right before they finish the job and never tell you why.

-Remain Star Trek-
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