Worst fan-ships?

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Worst fan-ships?

Postby Sionnach Glic » Thu May 21, 2009 10:25 am

We've all run across them at some stage in our internet lives. That one fan, who creates a ship so hideous, so ridiculous, or just so utterly wanktastic that you can't help but just type "WTF?" over and over again. Ships just so wrong that your brain simply refuses to comprehend how anyone could possibly think it was a good idea.

This thread is dedicated to all those mishapen wastes of paper and ink. It will serve as a beacon of wrongness for the Art and Design forum, to show our fledgling designers and artists how not to make a ship.

But in addition to that, we can make a sort of competition out of this thread. Who can find the worst examples of fanships across the internet? How well do your chosen monstrosities rate in the categories of "Hideousness", "Wankage", "Hiliarity", and "Sheer WTF?" ?

So, my candidates:

1) The Tremor class starship.
Design
Image

Description
Tremor class starship

Classification: heavy support cruiser

Length: 601.25 meters
Height: 86.25 meters
Width: 403.75 meters

Top speed: warp factor 9.21

Weapons: 28 type XI phaser arrays, 4 quantum torpedo launchers

Defenses: class 12 heavy shield system

Other equipment: 24 deployable heavy-duty grappling cables, 6 spacedock-grade tractor emitters, medical quality transporter facilities, 6 industrial replicators

Units commissioned:
NX-80647, USS TREMOR (later NCC-80647)
NCC-80648, USS GALLANT
NCC-80649, USS CHEQUAMEGON
NCC-80650, USS MUSCODA
NCC-80651, USS LINOORAE
NCC-80652, USS REDOUBTABLE
NCC-80653, USS ENDURANCE
NCC-80654, USS CERBERUS

Design history:
The Tremor class starship was first imagined in 2367 as a heavy warship design to complement the Defiant class, but when the Defiant class project was abandoned in 2369, the Tremor was recast in a variety of roles, from a hospital ship to a diplomatic transport, but the concepts were all blueprint-only; none of them ever made it to the spaceframe level.
At about the same time as the Defiant class was pulled out of mothballs, and put into regular production, the Tremor class was reviewed and found suitable for use in fleet combat as a heavy cruiser with limited field repair and shelter capabilities. In other words, its hullform allowed it to shelter a smaller starship and escort it out of a dangerous situation. The design was approved for construction in 2371, and the U.S.S. Tremor was completed in June of 2374.
The U.S.S. Tremor first saw action during the Battle of Tolinn, where she escorted six starships out of the combat area while destroying a total of nineteen Jem'Hadar fighters, and one Jem'Hadar battle cruiser.
The Tremor was nearly destroyed in the action, and sustained especially serious damage to her nacelle pylons, nearly losing the dorsal nacelle. After much review, the design was found to be lacking in certain areas, most notably the nacelle pylons and the connection from the saucer to the engineering hulls.
The towing capabilities of the Tremor were also found to be lacking, as her grappling cables and tractor emitters had proved to be insufficient for the task of towing any starships larger than an excelsior class.
The U.S.S. Tremor was recalled from active service. All of the components that Starfleet Command had deemed too fragile were completely removed and replaced with temporary parts built with techniques and materials similar to those used in Galaxy class starships. The Tremor was pressed back into service, and her unusually mismatched appearance soon earned her the title of "ugliest ship in the Fleet".
Also replaced was the faulty towing equipment, especially the grapplers, which had to be tested for resilience under shearing forces. The single tractor emitter in the back of the saucer was removed and replaced with a set of tandem emitters, designed to regulate the motion of sheltered starships more effectively.
Despite her uninviting appearance, the Tremor was frequently referred to as a beautiful sight, mostly because of her exemplary record; every ship that she escorted out of a combat zone during the war survived the battle intact, leading some to believe that she, and other ships refitted in unattractive ways, were blessed with extraordinary luck.
The Tremor, however, was the only ship of her class with such a mismatched appearance, and her single wartime successor disproved the "luck of the ugly" theory, accounting for a total, in the seven months between its launch and the end of the war, of ninety-seven kills and twenty-three rescues.
After the war, the U.S.S. Tremor was upgraded to fit in with her sister ships, and six more Tremor class starships were built to assist in reconstruction efforts in the Federation and abroad. The ships proved particularly useful in the areas that once belonged to the Cardassians, mostly due to their combination of cargo space, shield power, and weapons coverage, which allowed them to defend against attacks by pirates without taking damage.
The class is expected to serve well into the twenty-fifth century.


Score
Hideousness: 5/5. Seriously, just what?
Wankage: 2/5. Fairly wanky, but nowhere near as bad as some I've seen.
Hilarity: 2/5. Would be higher, but my mind is too busy trying to accept what it's seeing to find it amusing.
Sheer WTF: 4/5. Seriously, who thought this ship looked cool?

Comments
Seriously, just what? I defy anyone to find an uglier ship. That thing is just plain hideous!

2) Imperium Class Ultra Star Destroyer
Design
Image

Description
The embodiment of Palpatine's plans for extra-galactic conquest, the Imperium would have been as powerful as a Death Star, but much more mobile. Equipped with a small fleet of capital ships, thousands of fighters, and innumerable support craft, the Imperium would have had virtually unlimited range since it would also have carried several World Devastators to produce needed supplies. With this ship, the immortal Palpatine would have spread the Empire across the universe. Rumors suggest that the crew would also have been "immortal" as well, thanks to cloning equipment that would have been onboard. Thankfully, Palpatine was not as immortal as he had hoped, and the ship never progressed beyond initial planning before his final death. While some die-hard Imperials wanted to try and actually build it to use against the New Republic, saner heads prevailed and the Imperium remained only a terrible dream


Score
Hideousness: 1/5. The overall shape isn't too bad, but it's hardly stellar either.
Wankage: 4/5. Just how fucking big is this thing?
Hilarity: 5/5. Just read this and you'll see why tihs is one of the funniest wank-ships there is.
Sheer WTF: 4/5. I think "wank" just sums this entire thing up nicely.

Commentary
Ah, the Ultra Star Destroyer. Or as I prefer to call it, the ISS Compensator for obvious reasons. Can you get more ridiculous than this?

So, they're my candidates. What're yours?
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Re: Worst fan-ships?

Postby Aaron » Thu May 21, 2009 11:08 am

My favourite abortions are always kitbashes, they never seem to quite fit. Here's a few that just look ridiculous, there aren't much in the way of stats posted but I'll supply some pics.

The USS Hunchback Of Notre Dame

Image

OMG! A Miranda is humping a Constitution!

Image

USS Long Dong

Image

It's a seagull!

Image
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Re: Worst fan-ships?

Postby Mikey » Thu May 21, 2009 1:19 pm

Rochey - I couldn't follow that link about the Ultra SD due to permissions at work. Is that the one that had the civil war between engineering and tactical? :lol:
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Re: Worst fan-ships?

Postby Sionnach Glic » Thu May 21, 2009 1:24 pm

Yep. The Lord Marshall of the Sovereign Nation of Ree'ak'tor, or something similar.
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Re: Worst fan-ships?

Postby stitch626 » Thu May 21, 2009 3:38 pm

Kendall, I love the Seagull. :lol:
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Re: Worst fan-ships?

Postby Reliant121 » Thu May 21, 2009 4:14 pm

From Kendalls found site.

Image
"He was the best of us. They struck without provocation, there was no reason. Animals! Brutal! They deserve no mercy! Strike them down, follow them back to their base and kill all of them, all of them! No mercy!" - Delenn
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Re: Worst fan-ships?

Postby Mikey » Thu May 21, 2009 4:34 pm

Actually, that last one from Reliant looks like the planned ship for the never-to-be Star Trek: Phase Two TV project.

Which starship was, IIRC, designed in part by the same guy who designed the ISD's, explaining the triangular structure.
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I'll massacre your ass as fast
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Re: Worst fan-ships?

Postby Reliant121 » Thu May 21, 2009 6:05 pm

I'vve never particularly liked triangles. I dont really know why.
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Re: Worst fan-ships?

Postby Bryan Moore » Fri May 22, 2009 12:58 am

As silly as the seagul is, another bird like ship derived from the basic D7 mold isn't such an awful thing. I'd fix the rear (thats what she said) but it's not THAT awful.
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Re: Worst fan-ships?

Postby Graham Kennedy » Fri May 22, 2009 1:27 pm

I actually don't mind the Imperium class because of the way it's written up. It's not presented as a realistic ship, but as a vanity project by the Emperor that was impractical and never got off the ground. There's plenty of those around in the real world!
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Re: Worst fan-ships?

Postby Tyyr » Fri May 22, 2009 1:28 pm

The Seagull looks like a Federation take on a Klingon ship. It's bleh.

The Miranda/Connie hybrid (as in the humping one) is pretty bad though.
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Re: Worst fan-ships?

Postby eagle_GT » Fri May 22, 2009 4:45 pm

I think the seagull would be a good starting point for designing an early Klingon Bird of Prey.
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Re: Worst fan-ships?

Postby stitch626 » Fri May 22, 2009 7:05 pm

I just find this ugly.
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Re: Worst fan-ships?

Postby Mikey » Fri May 22, 2009 7:16 pm

That's not ugly... that's fugly.
I can't stand nothing dull
I got the high gloss luster
I'll massacre your ass as fast
as Bull offed Custer
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Re: Worst fan-ships?

Postby stitch626 » Fri May 22, 2009 7:23 pm

And this is really ugly.
Image



The Excalibur, an uber cruise liner(posted somewhere else here, and with a better looking pic)
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Not terrible, but very blah.
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