note: These are suppossed to be funny and in no way shape or form are they a direct/indirect attack on any member of this forum. These are not suppossed to be offencive in any way (except for the last one
). If anyone should have any problem, please PM me and I will remove it.These are exagurations of personality traits/quarks either I have noticed, many others have pointed out, or have been mentioned by the person in question as I have seen them.
USS Mark:
The USS Mark is notable for its destruction ratings. Since the introduction of the Daystrom Class the USS Mark has been named to seven ships. Fortunately, almost no losses have occurred to the crew. The most likely cause of the occurrences is the captain's tendencies to enjoy taunting his opponents. When the ship should remain cloaked as a silent observer, the USS Mark will often decloak, take rather aggressive scans and attempt to flee at high warp. This isn't always successful, and when the Mark is run down the captain again aggravates matters by engaging in a series of one-liner quips at the enemy captain usually causing him to think for a second before realizing the full extent of the insult.
USS Reliant:
One of the more successful ships at completing its task, the USS Reliant is serves it's role as scout/stealth cruiser well. This is most likely due to the sneaky and Romulan style leadership of its captain, though other causes have been linked with the captain's ability to "convince" enemy captains to release them with a few private words. When this fails to work, the captain also has the intelligence to not only out maneuver, but drastically outsmart the enemy, allowing it to escape capture by enemies.
USS Deep:
This ship fills its cruiser role much better than its scout or stealth forms. The Captain has made several modifications to his ship increasing its shield and wepons power. The USS Deep has the highest number of enemy kills of all of the Daystrom Class. Starfleet has had to on several occasions however call the ship in to prevent the final construction of a phase lance to the ship.
USS Rochey:
Another well performing ship and one of the most disciplined in the fleet. The USS Rochey has gathered several key intelligence reports on enemy fleets; however it also holds the top 30 records for fastest request for transfer. The ship's crew is kept in perfect discipline and form by the captain, who spends several hours each day plugged into the ships computer where he monitors the crew's every move.
USS Tsuki:
A highly effective ship at acquiring defecting enemy crews. The ability is accredited to the rebellions nature of the captain, who is able to convince enemy's of the futility of working for their government, practicing their religion, and even has them questioning if life is truly life by the end of their ten hour engagement. He then returns their wits to them but with a modified loyalty to his aims rather than their own. Several Admirals have attempted to move the captain to a position where he could influence the leaders of these super powers effectively bringing the lot of the galaxy under Federation control however these attempts have failed as the captain is unable to move out of his command chair. He simply sits there reading his next speech against the infrastructure.
USS Blackstar (I had to make one mean funny) :
The only ship to have a shorter life than the USS Mark. The Captain of the Blackstar ran into trouble several times when he refused to believe his ship was a scout and stealth cruiser not a battleship. After the first few volleys, enemies even would attempt to convince him of his futile effort as he tried to take down three Norexen Class vessels. It was at this point that in typical fashion the deranged captain would order the ship to concentrate and form a wepons out of the subspace signals the onboard whales were sending back to their home world. Obviously, for reasons other than there were no whales on board, the wepons failed to have any effect and the ship would be destroyed. After loosing twelve ships in two months the captain was called back into Starfleet for a debriefing where he was relieved of command because of his inability to admit that it was his tactical error that caused the ships to be destroyed. Later he was ejected from Starfleet for arguing that the definition of destroyed didn't match what happened to his ships word for word, and hence they weren't actually destroyed.
Split from the Staplic's Trek Universe thread - Rochey
But if anyone one's to try it, they have my permission...
