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"I thought I was evil, but you captioneers ..." |
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When one takes time to think about it, Kirk vs Khan is Rabbit Season Duck Season in space. |
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I love the smell of burning megalomaniac in the morning! |
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Khan: “You mean I’m portrayed by Benedict Cumberbatch in a future movie?? Oooooh… he’s hot!” |
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Khan exhibits all the stereotypical 80’s cliches: - Mullet haircut - Oversized shoulder pads - Bare chest - Gawdy massive necklace with cryptic horoscope symbol - Accidental crack pipe explosion |
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"Here, class, is an excellent demonstration of friction at work. When this man jumped from a shuttlecraft without protection, he tripped and fell on his face. It's a wonder his face wasn't ground down to the bone." |
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"Who are you, that you would do this to me?" "You know who I am, Khan. I am your creator, and your life is in my hands. I am the controller of your very existence. The master of your destiny. The architect of your doom." "Yes, but WHO are you?" "I ... am ... the scriptwriter!" "NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" |
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Khan Noonien Singh's Disco Inferno. |
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"Dracarys!" |
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"Please kill me! The studio bosses are planning a series where I get stuck on a planet with Wesley Crusher & Neelix." |
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"REMEMBER! Only YOU can prevent wild fires!" -Smoked Khan |
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"FEEL THE BERN!" -Kirk to Khan |
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"Now I become death, destroyer of worlds." -Khan Robert Oppenheimer |
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[♫ Piano] Hi, I’m Sarah McLachlan. Will you be an angel for a helpless animal? Everyday innocent animals are abused, beaten, and neglected. [♫] Please, call the number on your screen with a monthly gift and you’ll help rescue animals from their abusers and provide medical care, food, shelter, and love. [♫] Right now, there’s an animal who needs you. Please call right now. [♫ Piano fades] |
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One must remember, rich Corinthian Leather gets scorching hot when exposed to sunlight. |
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"February 23rd. And nobody has sent me a Valentine card. Again." |
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Unfortunately Ricardo had an allergic reaction to the Corinthian Leather Captain's chair. |
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Where will YOU be when your twenty condoms of China White Heroin burst? |
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Kirk: “What was it you had for lunch?” Khan: “I had the sea bass. “Why do you ask??” Kirk: “YOU HAD THE SEA BASS???? I HAD THE SEA BASS!!!” |
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In an act of defiance, the crew of the Reliant managed to remove many safety warnings before they were defeated. |
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Ricardo made big mistake accidentally going in the ladies change room, they through something on him...Pee U !!!!!! |
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Unfortunately Ricardo Montalban's COVID hadn't cleared up just yet. |
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If Khan had been found during Discovery, Section 31 would have recruited him. |
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He's got a terrible mullet AND a horrible "side burn!" Get it? |
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I shouldn't have fallen asleep on the tanning bed.... |
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While mullets fell out of favor in the 1990’s, there was a huge revival in the 2280’s, led by notable celebrities such as Khan Noonian Sing and his gang of genetically engineered outlaws. |
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Khan: ♫ "You can't make me, you can't make me!" ♫ [massive explosion followed by rattling pie plate on floor...] Khan: "...so what was it that you needed?" |
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"NO, KENNEDY! No matter what punishment you inflict on me, I will NOT do it!" "You are mistaken, Khan! I wield ultimate power here. You WILL be in the caption competition!" |
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Star Trek DITL: The Wrath Of THe Captioneers! |
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"I really wanted to be a ... LUMBERJACK!" |
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Hockey legend Jaromír Jágr is known for: An incredibly long and productive career… A mullet that rivals MacGyver’s… And very tough playing style. |
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Really bad mullets... IN SPAAAAAAAAACE!!! |
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One wonders how someone could get rugburn this bad... IN SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE! |
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Torak, Dragon god of the Angranaks, after cracking the World |
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Khan Noonien Singh's: "On the Eve of Destruction." |
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"That was one hell of a b*tch slap." |
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Khan mistook a plasma torch for a hair dryer. |
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“This, my fellow sentient beings, is why helmets are needed when riding a motorcycle.” |
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"And this, kids, is why you don't f*ck around with carpet when your ship is traveling at relativistic speeds and the inertial dampeners glitch." |
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"Kids, listen to me when I say: don't mess with phasers." |
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Khan Noonian Singh and the Mullet Of Doom! |
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"I'm not bad. I'm just scripted that way." |
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I take it ... You didn't like my spaghetti sauce.?? |
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"THIS IS CETI ALPHA V!" |
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"THIS IS CETI ALPHA v!!!" |
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Khan said: "I Khan't bear the heat!" |
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"OK, which comedian reverse flushed my toilet?" |
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Ultra tan your face Giving it the look of rich Corinthian leather. |
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Khan never learned to not playing with fire. |
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Tragically, SOME PEOPLE just can't handle sunlight. |
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Tonight on "When All You Can Eat Buffets Go Wrong" .... |
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Tanning Bed pranks. |
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Half baked. |
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From Hell's Heart I stab at thee For Hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee." "He sure sounds gloomy " |
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Khan Noonien sings "Hot Child in the City." |
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"Jean Luc, I am your father!"
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Khan has learned a little known tidbit of information. The explosive combustibility of the Vulcan Death Fart. |
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"I said, can I borrow a cup of sugar?" |
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This just makes me think of Mel Gibson in Lethal Weapon. |
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Ricardo : I think they may have put too much wax in my wig. |
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Ricardo : For the last time !! Turn the studio lights down !!!! |
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In the Tamarian language, "Khan, at the Mutara Nebula", has come to mean, "fool who dies for no good reason". |
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Director: "CUT! That was great Ricardo, but we need to adjust the lighting and do another take." Montalbán: (this face) |
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"Ohhhh, Frankie ..." |
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So THAT'S why you shouldn't put an unopened can of beans in the microwave...
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This what happens when you date a Klingon during Valentine’s Day. |
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"I don't get paid enough for this you know." |
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"Brainz. BRAINZ!" |
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Montalban's sausage & bacon sandwich underwent a freak ketchup explosion. |
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We all know what side the toast lands... which ever is the most inconvenient. |
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Jam today, jam tomorrow... |
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"Khan Noonean Singe", change just one letter and such a different outcome! |
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A mixup between the Turkey Baster and the sun cream department has disastrous results for visiting guests. |
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You've killed Khanny! You bastards! |
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Say it with me. In 3, 2, 1, KIRRRRRRK!!!!! |
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Sunbathing without proper protection is a very bad idea, especially when you live on Mercury. |
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Unfortunately for Montalbán, he never fully knew what hit him after catching a full blast of Shatner's acting. |
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Despite his current looks, Khan was never a fan of Two Face. |
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Khan: “To the last, I will grapple with thee! . . . . . From Hell's heart, I stab at thee! . . . . . For hate's sake, I spit my last breath at thee!” Kirk: “Oh yeah... Well double dumbass on your” |
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Khan: "Admiral... I have been... and always shall be... your bestie." |
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Yousa should keeps away from da molten lava |
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Krispy Khan |
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Flame War? |
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Singed Singh. |
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Laser hair removal gone wrong. |
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It appears that the Biore Pore Strip was incorrectly used. |
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Ricardo Montalban , never said Hi baldy to Bill Shatner ever again. |
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Boy have I had a rough day at work... |
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Khan Noonien sings.. "Disco Disco Inferno.." |
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Khan Noonien sings.. "Goodness Gracious Great Balls of Fire.." |
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Khan Noonien sings... "I'm a hunka hunka burning love. A hunka hunka burning love.." |
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Khan Noonien sings..."I fell into a burning ring of Fire, Went Down down down and the flames grew higher... " |
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Khan: “To the last, I will grapple with thee! . . . . . From Hell's heart, I stab at thee! . . . . . For hate's sake, I spit my last breath at thee!” Kirk: “Yea, yea, yea… Tell me something I don’t know.” |
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Khan: “To the last, I will grapple with thee! .......From Hell's heart, I stab at thee! .......For hate's sake, I spit my last breath at thee!” Kirk [sarcastically]: “Whoa, Herman… you just make that up?” |
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Revenge. It is a very painful thing. |
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“Momma told me that I’d have days like this.” |
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That Meglomaniacal Khan Conquering on and on Reliant brought to heel By the Tau Ceti Eel Then Genesis the Ultimate Weapon |
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"Now THAT was a Vulcan Death Fart!" |
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Khan learns the hard way why one should never use an aerosol can in a manner other than directed. |
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Who hasn't left a Hot Pocket in the microwave for too long, amirite? |
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“Why, yes, I am having a bad day. How did you know?” |
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The look you give when someone asks ‘are you okay.’ |
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EMH: Please state the nature… of the medical emergency. I see you tried to look into the ark of the covenant. |
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“Alright, we’ll call it a draw.” |
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Khan: “Unguent… I need unguent.” |
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I’m really not much of a barbecue guy, but I think he’s done on this side. |
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Khan’s solution to the Kobayashi Maru scenario was… shall we say… unsuccessful. |
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Kirk: “KHAAANNNN!” [pause] Kirk: “KHAAANNNN!” Khan: “Whaaaat???” |
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Khan: "Gotta tell you kids: Wear sunscreen… TRUST ME on this." |
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The 2024 Presidential Election Poster: “Yes we KHAAAN!” |
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