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Introduction
A Matter
of Time
All Good
Things
All Our
Yesterdays
Assignment
: Earth
Captain's
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Carpenter
Street
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Children
of Time
E
Squared

Endgame
Eye of
the Needle
First
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Fury
Future
Tense
Future's
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Generations
Little
Green Men

Parallax
Past
Tense

Relativity

Shockwave
Storm
Front
The Edge
of Forever
The
Visitor
The Voyage
Home
Time And
Again
Time
Squared
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Timeless
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Arrow
Tomorrow is
Yesterday
Trials and
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Twilight

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Year
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Neelix: "What are you watching?"
Kes: "It's a 20th Century sitcom called 'Benson'".
Neelix: "I don't think much of that little fellow."
Neelix: "These 8K TV's are amazing. Do you think we can afford one on a Starfleet salary?"
Kes: "Starfleet doesn't use money."
Neelix: "Y'know, we might be on the wrong ship."
Ethan:"Have we really signed up for seven years of this?"
Jennifer:"We?"
Kes: It's so small.
Neelis: I don't think I've seen that small before.
Paris "snickering"
Janeway: Tom, please get you mind out out the gutter and plot a course around the micro backhole.
Neelix: I'm never drinking Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters again. And this time, I mean it.
Kes: Are you seeing what I'm seeing?
Neelix: Yes, we're watching our careers going away.
Neelix: "What the hell IS that thing?"
Kes: "Well... that's a bunny rabbit in a stocking up at the top. And THAT is a Christmas tree."
When Neelix realises he can't read his own menu, even if he squints ... he should have gone to Specsavers!
"Neelix, is that Frankie Chestnuts?"
Kes: Yes Neelix, Racism won in Mississippi, and I am also confused.
"Neelix, what is Windows 10 and why is it trying to update?"
"I don't know, but for some reason my computer has developed an affinity for penguins."
"Oh no, they aren't going to give us this caption are they?"
Neelix: "I really like 'Columbo' - but it always surprises me who turns out to be the murderer..."
I'm more worthless. No, I'm more worthless. No, I'M more worthless.
Kes & Neelix get their first look at the Marks & Spencer Christmas commercial.
Kes: "Captain, the alien ship's prefix code is 1,2,3,4,5."
Paris (offscreen): "That sounds like the combination an idiot would have on his luggage."
Neelix (walks onto Bridge): "Amazing! I have the same combination on my luggage!"
If these two were to merge in a transporter malfunction, the resulting being's name could be Kleenex.
Kes: You are not going crazy. It's the scary Christmas music they do every year. - Well, you are not going crazy-er than usual.
Kew: Yes Neelix, Racism won in Mississippi, and I am also confused.
Kes: "...and this planet is really called Squint?"
Neelix: "I think... I know why..."
Kes: "Uh... Captain?"
Neelix: "What exactly does 'warp core breach imminent' mean?"
Transporter accident ===
Computer : Please repeat the command . Neelix : Go To Warp . Computer : Go To War . Neelix : NOOOOOO !! Go To Warp !!!!
Sync 85 still doesn't work !!!
Kes: "Isn't this spatial anomaly just breathtakingly beautiful."
Neelix: "Yet another space cloud. Hooray. How exciting."
Sans undertale
Okok, this is weed
ye i dunno
Now this is a story all about how
My life got flipped-turned upside down
And I'd like to take a minute
Just sit right there
I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel-Air
In west Philadelphia born and raised
On the playground was where I spent most of my days
Chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool
And all shooting some b-ball outside of the school
When a couple of guys who were up
Is this weed?
Neelix: "This is the most appalling stuff I have ever seen!"
Kes: "Are you watching 21st century so called 'reality' TV again?"
Neelix: "No, it's a nature documentary this time. But... this warthog looks just like me!"
Kes and Neelix looking at the main view screen on the bridge.
Neelix: "Kes, don't tell the Starfleet people, but I always have trouble reading that damn font that their LCARS uses..."
Kes: "Uh.... Captain? We have a question..."
Neelix: "...what exactly does 'main computer core deleted' mean?"
"What do you make of that, Neelix"
"I could make a hat, I could make a brooch, I could make a pterodactyl..."
Doctor, offscreen: "I could remove that hideous fungal growth from your arm, Kes. Quite easily."
Kes: "Doctor, leave Neelix alone."
"...L. I. X.... okay, second line, er, S. U. C. K. S... umm, Doctor? About this eye chart..."
"Oh, so that's what's in a 'Dirty Janeway'".
Neelix was having a tough time reading the menu at Mc Space Burger.
Kes: "Is this... Santa Claus!?"
Neelix: "No. I think this is a Klingon."
This looks like a good time for some dumb blonde jokes.
Neelix: "What is this hideous alien monster, staring back at me?"
Kes: "That's a mirror, Neelix."
The cast gets their first look at Seven of Nine's 'functional" uniform.
Kes: "Oh my God, they killed Kenny. The bastards!"
Neelix: "Never mind that, I want the recipe for Chef's Chocolate Salty Balls."
"Do you think we could get a transfer to Firefly?"
Ooooooooooo Shiny!
Janeway: "The Enterprise!"
Kim: "The Enterprise!"
Kes: "The Enterprise!"
Neelix: "It's only a model."
Neelix: "Our Mirror Universe counterparts are supposed to be our polar opposites, right? So why is mine looking so... so...."
Kes: "Fascinatingly handsome... Sigh..."
Neelix: "What kind of radar is this?"
Kes: "The crew calls it 'Mr. Coffee'."
Neelix: "Of course it is! Everyone knows I drink coffee while watching the radar!"
Noticing the reactions of his shipmates, the Doctor immediately regretted adding hair to his program...
"Wait... TV Guide thinks I'M going to be the breakout character? Even I'm not self-deluded enough to believe that!"
Kes: "I can't believe it... the Caretaker... just gone..."
Neelix: "I know what you mean. I left a pot of ploneek stew on for too long and had to throw the whole batch out."
Kes: "..."
Talaxians: The culmination of 25,000,000 years of Snarf evolution.
Neelix: "Why are the males always getting naked?"
Kes: "This is 'Enterprise', it just happens. Now shut up, I'm trying to watch..."
When a Trek episode's plot is so ridiculous that it shatters even the CHARACTERS' suspension of disbelief...
And THAT is why a battery powered nose hair trimmer makes the best Christmas gift!
Gordon Ramsey : Good God !!! Neelix this Gamma Quadrant Chilli is just plain ..........AWFUL !!!!!! The meat seems to be alive and the vegetables haven't been cut up at all.
Neelix was completely baffled by Gordons response to tasting his Chilli .
Now we know Mr. T's hair style never died .
Neelix was very surprised when he saw a Mug Shot of a distant relative of Kes' who got busted for a revoked drivers licence for the second time.
Nelix was a little hazy this morning after a night with a Klingon woman.
Kes & Neelix are unsure how to react when Janeway shows them her new vajazzle.
Kes looks surprised.
Neelix looks like... well, he looks like Neelix.
Kes: "Ohn no..."
Neelix: "Are this... the Captain and Mr. Paris!?"
Kes: "Yes. And apparently they turned into salamanders."
Neelix: "What? Again!?"
Watching the election results with surprise and disbelief.
Neelix: "What is the Bridge crew doing?"
Kes: "They're having a montage, by the looks of it."
Neelix: "What?!? Without us? But we're so popular; the fans will never allow this!"
Neelix, I don't think I'm quite that flexible.
Neelix: "Mr. Vulcan! Are... are you naked!?"
Tuvok: "Wait, this is NOT a dream this time!?"
Kes: "It's not. At least not in the literal sense, as far as I am concerned...."
Neelix: "Wait, what?"
Kess : What happened to the viewing screen , its just blue ?
Neelix : UMMM I think it maybe that Windows 10 update we installed.
"I don't like the look of these captions, Neelix!"
Results of the Doctor's daily Valium dole
Neelix: "It's... like watching a train wreck!"
Kes: "This *is* literally a train wreck, Neelix."
Story line 2yr alien girl old ugly alien man.Who wrote this Harvy Weinstien.
Neelix: "Kes, I can't read the writing on that wall."
Kes: "It says Paris was here."
Needlix: *head explodes*
"Mr. Neelix, there is something I need to tell you."
"And what is that, my dear?"
"Hashtag MeToo"
"And the winner of the most god awful haircut in Starfleet goes to ...."
Kess : What's that warning ??
Neelix : I think it says " Your Kaspersky trial is over . Purchase a one year license for only $ 39. ??!!!!
Kess : What does that say on the screen ?
Neelix : I think it says " Opinions expressed on this Blueray are those of the Producer and NOT Paramount or any of its affiliates.
Kess : Neelix !!! Are you staring at the Captain's Butt ??
Neelix : I'm just having a hard time seeing it.
Captain Janeway : Eyes up here Mr. Neelix !!!!
Poor Neelix , he was having a tough time reading the traffic signs during his starship driving test.
Neelix: "Captain, where did you learn to do Uhura's fan dance...?
Kes: "It's a man!"
Neelix: "No, it's a bird!"
Alien spaceship: *starts to fire at Voyager*
Oo-oo that smell,
can't you smell that smell?
Oo-oo that smell,
the smell of death's around you.
Kes: You have to relax your eyes. Allow them to cross while looking at the picture and the hidden image will appear. It's a flying bird.
Neelix: Wha...?
The moment when Tuvok enters the bridge...
Doctor: "Mr. Neelix, you need glasses!"
Neelix: "I need what? Never heard of that."
Kes: "It's apparently some advanced medical technology that we don't have here in the Delta Quadrant."
Neelix: "On an unrelated note, is something wrong with your program, Doctor? You seem so blurry lately."
Modern Art Apprecation Society
"Yes, I see now. If you squint really hard it looks like something REALLY absurd!"
"OMG! I got your haircut!"
With the reverse angle, we can now see who B'Etor was talking to last month.
Phillips: "Wait a minute. You're saying that every week, the spaceship gets repaired and resupplied by magic, defeats enemies that overwhelmed far superior targets, and then at the end everybody is saved by some awkward and obvious writer's fiat?"
Lien: "Ha-ha, I might just have to leave early, go nuts, and get arrested a few times."
The first day of shooting, The cast is always surprised seeing themselves after coming out of makeup. Jennifer is particularly surprised because Ethan hasn’t been to makeup yet.
Neelix: What the hell is that?
Kes: I don’t know what the hell that is!
Neelix: What in the hell is that?!
Kes: Hey, you kids! Get away from there!
Neelix I would not mess with that thing..
Kes: Don’t put your lips on it!
Neelix [ ever curious ]: What the hell is this?
I alternated between these faces while watching Discovery.
Shock and awe.
Frankie Chestnuts didn't even get a special mention last month?! (brains implode)
In Soviet Russia, TV...stares quite dumbly...AT YOU!
IMHOTEP...IMHOTEP...
Janeway: Are you two FULLY FUNCTIONAL?!
Kes and Neelix: uuuuhhhhhh
Janeway: ...
Voyager had an exceptionally good magician on board that day.
Hitchhikers guide to the galaxy entry: The Tyrantharaxus. A mysterious species in the delta quadrant. DO NOT EVER HAIL THEM. Looking at them causes the fleshy bits to melt from the bones of most species. Some exemptions exist such as the Ocampa, which turn instantly into wax, and the Talaxians, who endlessly stare while mentally repeating how annoying they are.
Kes: What is that?
Neelix: A weekly caption competition?
Kes: I thought those were extinct?
Teacher of Optometry: Ok Class, now tell me who in the picture seriously needs eyeglasses?
Both thinking: It's so horrible but I can't look away!
Neelix: Why is it in such tiny print?
Neelix & Kess trying to solve a puzzle on Wheel OF Fortune !!
Ethan Philips was having a tough time in the first season reading the teleprompter with his prosthetics .
Kess : What's that strange appendage on that woman ??
Nelix : I'm not sure but it's kinda small and shriveled .

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Copyright Graham Kennedy Page views : 43,218 Release date : 1 Dec 2018