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Geordi: What the ...
Tasha: I just found the PERFECT RETIREMENT GIFT for Chromedome...
Tasha: "Hey, Geordi... Smell this... I had an itch."
Everybody hated it when Tasha brought out her “Pinhead the Cenobite” puppet to demonstrate any new Starfleet Security Protocols.
"Careful with that axe, Eugene" and other obscure Pink Floyd references...
Churchkeys in the 24th century...
Wahl® Grooming and Styling tools... ALWAYS in fashion!
Geordi, to self: And I thought I had dating problems ...
Here we see the sad truth about Gonzo’s descent into the BDSMuppet subculture. Don’t even ask about the Rubber Duckie boys...
Geordi: I’ll tell you how to get to Sesame Street!
Tasha: It's my first ventriloquism puppet. What do you think, Geordi?
Geordi: I think I prefer Achmed the Dead Terrorist.
Coming soon on Netfix Originals:
"When Muppets Go Bad", starring Thorn, the Goth Muppet, voiced by Summer Glau.
Now you know the REAL reason why Jim Henson died.
Star Trek Puppeteer Safety public service poster #3:
Tasha demonstrates what NOT TO DO.
Geordi: "I heard that you attended Doctor Crusher's theatre audition for 'Peter Pan'. How did it go?"
Tasha: "I auditioned for Wendy... and she gave me the role of Captain Hook."
Geordi: Don't worry, those poisoned tipped spikes won't kill you. This isn't Skin of Evil.
Tasha: "Worf told me to bring this for Alexander. It's his favorite puppet character from the Klingon version of Sesame Street."
Geordi: "Have you managed accomplishing exactly what you wanted to do?"
Tasha: "Yes, nailed it!"
Look, Denise, the only Hellraiser movie set in space was a complete bomb, so I don't think we'll be doing a crossover anytime soon.
Ooooooooo Spikey!
Geordi: "On second thought, it was a huge mistake to snoop around in Worf's quarters! I learnt more about him than I ever cared to know! Too much information!!"
Tasha opening her new Back & Ass scratcher from Worf .
Gordie : What is that thing ?!
Tasha : It's the Klingon equivalent of an Emmy.
Doctor crusher said it cures hemorrhoids
Geordi: "Sewing is your hobby? I don't mean to be rude, but you don't seem to be the type of person who's enjoy doing that kind of work..."
Tasha: "Well, the sewing needles we use on Turkana IV are a bit different from what you know from most other Federation planets..."
Geordi: "When I suggested to prank the Captain by putting something in his chair, I was thinking more of a tribble or a whoopee cushion or something..."
Geordi: "Did your dad also take you to fishing trips?"
Tasha: "Sure! I even still have one of the hooks we used!"
Do not try to escape.
You are in my control.
Look at me.
I am the sum of all evils.
Look carefully.
My power infests all times, all galaxies, all dimensions.
But many still seek me out.
A spiked jewel they must possess.
I will tell you their stories.
Then prepare to die.
Geordi: Tasha, you're my friend. I know what you're holding and I know what you're thinking. *backs away slowly* Don't. Do. It. *runs*
Tasha with the 23th century Infinity Gauntlet !
Tasha : This is an ancient Toothbrush and Pick used by the Klingons in the Days Of Kahless.
Gordie : No wonder they have such bad teeth !!!
Tasha recieves a parting gift from CBS just before her charactor is killed off the show.
Geordie : What the hell is that !!!???
Tasha : It's a gift from Worf . It's a weapon used in the Ke'tel ritual.
Geordi: "Why don't you want to go back to your home planet?"
Tasha: "It is governed by an evil despot who rules with an iron fist. Or rather, ruled. He is probably very angry at me since I stole said fist from him..."
Extreme Acupuncture
Tasha: "And I will call it... Spike!"
Say again, Tasha? Drop my trousers and do what now?
Drop my trousers and do what now?
What was that Sooty?
Geordi: Tasha, no. You can't be serious! That's insane!
Tasha: But it said on the box, "spiked for her pleasure"!
Tell Worf not to leave his sex toys lying around.
You break it, you bought it.
Data: "Lt. Yar, please bring me my battle hand!"
Tasha ... Get to the point!
Geordi: "I am... not quite sure if these boxing gloves are allowed under the Marquess of Queensberry Rules."
Tasha, "Are you sure we should be glueing this to the captain's chair?"
Geordie, "Come on! It'll be hilarious. You know he never looks before he sits down."
Gerdi: "What are you building there?"
Tasha: "The inhabitants of this planet call this a koffyn. They see creating one as the ultimate measure of skill, so I had to try it out..."
Geordi:: "Oh. And how did this work out for you so far?"
Tasha: "I am almost done. This was the final nail in the koffyn."
Gordie : What's that for ??
Tasha : It's my new meat tenderiser .
According to the instructions, you need to push it in deep, then twist it around, and then pull back.
Geordie, "And the killer is: Tasha, in her quarters, with... eh, some spiky thing."
If I catch Riker looking at my butt one more time...
Klingon sex toys had a limited market outside the Empire.
Tonight on Reading Rainbow they're apparently covering Uncle Tom's Cabin and 50 Shades of Grey.
Yar: "What do you think of my new puppet, Geordi?"
La Forge: "Its... very nice."
Yar: "His name is Dragnol. He is my best friend. He tells me to do things, but I don't listen, usually."
La Forge: "Hey, that's great, oh look at the time, I need to go fix the engines."
Yar: "You're the pilot."
La Forge: "I.. gotta go become the chief engineer. Then I have to go fix the engines, so really busy..."
Tasha: "TRANSPORTER ACCIDENT!! Hold tight... Maybe we can find one of Worf's hair follicles on his hair brush..."
Geordi: "Well NOW I understand the turtle head and his receding hairline..."
La Forge: "I don't know, Tasha. Maybe art therapy just isn't your thing."
Yar: "I'm not sure this is a good look, Geordi. A blue-eyed blonde woman beating up a black woman on a planet of only black people. It seems a little problematical and racist. What do you think?"
Geordi: "Why are you asking me?"
Yar: "Well, you're black, so..."
Geordi: "Wait. I'm black!?"
Yar: "Hey, Geordi! Look at this!"
La Forge: "That's Worf's. You know he doesn't like us messing with his stuff."
Yar: "But look at it!"
La Forge: "What is it, exactly?"
Yar: "It's a trophy. Look, it's even inscribed! '3rd Place - All Qo'noS Jello Wrestling Championsip.' I..I'm just going to put this back where I found it..."
La Forge: "Should you be messing with that thing?"
Yar: "Don't worry about it. I'm a main character. I've got plot armor. And a yellow shirt."
Yar: "Apparently, if you're brave enough, anything is a -"
La Forge: "No. Just... no."
La Forge: "I told you we shouldn't go through Worf's sock drawer, but you just had to look."
Yar: "Is this a dagger I see before me?"
La Forge: "No, a dagger generally only has a single stabby bit. This things got a bunch of stabby bits. And a bashing bit. And, what is that? A bottle opener, I guess?"
Yar: "Who would have thought the old man to have had so much blood in him?"
La Forge: "I'll be right back, I need to go check on Captain Picard for a minute. Need anything? Thorazine?"
Yar: "Wow, look at the craftsmanship on this thing! It must have taken master artisans ages to create this!"
La Forge: "They drove a bunch of nails through a dead armadillo and glued it to a stick. Twenty minutes ago. It was Dan Curry. We saw him do it. You even said 'poor armadillo'!"
Yar: "Ages, Geordi, ages!"
La Forge: "I wonder if Doctor Who is still hiring..."
Should we be a little concerned here that Geordi is the one looking at it with that special combination of intimidated and intrigued?
"What's that for Tasha?"
"I'm off to see a member of the Weasley Crusher Fan Club."
"Don't you mean Wesley?"
Steady Wesley, this won't hurt. Much.
"You watch Geordi, this is gonna win me 250 quid on Harry Hill's You've Been Framed!"
This week, on "Separated At Birth" we look at Star Trek's Tasha Yar and the BBC's Clare Balding!
"Somehow I thought the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch would look more ... I dunno ..."
"Like a grenade?"
Sometimes having to squeeze my (alledged) humor into 400 characters makes me feel all prickly
Picard has a fish, Data has a cat... and Tasha has a weird hedgehog bird.
Whatever floats your boat Tasha.
Whatever f;oats your boat Tasha.
Geordi (to self) "...and I thought MY head-gear was a bit odd."
Geordi: "Is this the Infinity Gauntlet?"
Tasha: "No, it's the Gauntlet of Infinite Pain."
In the latest re-boot of 'Mystery Science Theater 3000', not only was the Pearl Forrester character not believable, but the 'Crow T. Robot' character was actually frightening.
Hitchikers Guide Entry on Ligon II KillBurr Shrub Seed Pod: A wierd metallic seed pod that sprouts up quickly from its equally quick sprouting parent, grabs on the fur of a passing animal and promptly kills it. The shrub is so numerous that romantic walks in the woods requires a large escort bearing blow torches and flamethrowers. Coincidentally, Ligon II suffers from chronic deforestation.
Tasha: "OK Geordi, I'll lend you my back-scratcher - but bring it back first thing tomorrow!"
chnlove scam
Nailed it!
Baseball was not popular on Qo'noS because the ball would always get stuck on the local bats.
Suppositories on Qo'noS.
Sock puppets on Qo'noS.
Tasha: I'm not worried. You're wearing a red shirt.
Geordi: I'm blind and the best contender for a likeable Chief Engineer. Your competition is Worf, the first Klingon in Starfleet.
Tasha: "...and this is for an old Klingons ritual in which they officially dishonor someone by giving him the finger."
Geordie was getting nervous. Here he was, a member of Starfleet, wearing a redshirt, being near a spiky alien artifact. What could go wrong?
The Enterprise has captured the Iron Chicken from the Clangers and Tasha & Geordi are assigned to investigate.
(Look up the Clangers on Wikipedia if you don't know the reference!)
Tasha's model of Big Bird was a bit strange!
Geordi: "What's this!?"
Tasha: "Dr. Crusher told me to fetch her some medical tool for prostate examinations. I have no idea what it looks like - but I have a strong feeling that it's this thing..."
Contemplating the damage this could do to Wesley Crusher...
Yarr takes matters into their own hands when they had enough of the internet not loading.
Geordi: "What's this?"
Tasha: "One of Worf's mittens."
Geordi: "Wow, the winter on Qo'noS, *is* harsh!"
In the future, sporks are a lot more complicated.
Warning: Failure to follow the safety procedures
can lead to evisceration, impalement, exsanguination, or death.
Geordi: Tasha, stop waving that thing at the Aichmophobian Ambassador!
"Stick them with the pointy end"
They used to hammer nails through wooden bats for weapons. But in the FUTURE, they hammer nails into really weird looking baseball gloves
Denise (to self): "Now I'm SURE I made a mistake. First they got me doinking an android. Now I'm in a cage match with a crazy-eyed bitch wearing an aluminum foil jumpsuit. And I've got to wear this freakin' think on my hand.
My agent was right... I'm off this show ASAP. I've REALLY got to be thinking about my career."
Denise: "I've GOT to talk to the Props Department."
Geordi: "Please take this with you to the away mission."
Tasha: "I appreciate your concern, but I think I can easily handle this Armus guy without any special weaponry."
Yes, by all means, tell Worf to bring his Bat'leth to our next sparring session.
"But Tasha, the writers guide says you admire Wesley doesn't it?"
"Yeah, and you belive that because ... ?"
Tasha bravely disarms the Nausiccan sex toy.
"Whoa! I knew Data was well equipped in the lunchbox department but this ... ?"
Tasha: Why do I need this again?
Geordi: I dunno... just in case some evil oil monster attacks you later.... or something.
Geordi and Tasha examine a representation of Paleogeminus armatus, the prehistoric armored tribble.
The catchphrase "Get the point" now has a most effective prop to emphasize it.
"I'm gonna give that computer a re-programming it'll never forget ..."
"So now we stick a marshmallow on the end of each spike and toast them over the fire."
"what is the big spike for?"
"Have you seen the size of my marshmallow?"
"So this big spike is for getting stones out of horses hooves?"
"And the spikey bits?"
"They are for getting boy scouts out of horses hooves."
"Cool ... what are horses?"
"Yeah, it's a Klingon version of the classic Swiss Army knife."
"So now we stick a marshmallow on each one and then hold it over the fire."
"Oh baby! Where have you been all my life?"
"You hit van Gelder with that!? Man, no wonder he looked like he was suffering in last month's caption!"
Geordi: "Is that a incredibly dangerous, lethal hand weapon... Or are you happy to see me?
Georgi: "One last word of advise, Tasha... If you have an itch... Don't scratch."
Shoulder pads... Feathered hair... Lethal weapons attached to your hands... God I love the 80's.
Geordi: "Careful with that thing... You'll put your eye out."
Geordi: "I'm rather fond of shag."
Geordi: Where did you get that?
Tasha: I found it in Amazon’s "Deals recommended for you" section.
Visits to the dentist never get easier.
Coming to the conformity of the internet, Natasha Yarr tries the latest challenge, much to the warnings of their friend.
''Try to be funny rather than insulting''!? ''Delete entries that are offensive''!? I know who I'm shoving this up today!
Modern art still sucks in the 24th century.
After Trump took down Obamacare, the quality of artificial limbs degenerated quickly.
Anybody else wants to make a blond joke?
If anybody mentions 'skin of evil', I'll stick this where the sun don't shine.
When Tasha started wearing the Ligonian dueling weapon everywhere, all harmless flirtation ceased.
Tasha (Picking up the spiky thing): Tell me Geordi, are you still fully functional?
Geordi: NO Tasha, by GOD NO!
The Good News: Tasha Yar is playing Captain Hook in the 24th century retelling of Peter Pan, and that's the hook.
The Bad News: Wesley Crusher is playing Peter Pan.
Geordi: And Klingons really use that for colonoscopies?
Tasha: If you think that's bad, then you really don't want to know what Nausicaans use it for.
“So... where do the batteries go?”
Tasha: "No worries. I've used devices like this... Just where do the batteries go?
Tasha: "Yo Geordi! HIGH FIVE!
Tasha: "...but why would Mot leave him looking like this?
Geordi: "Hang on Tasha... my VISOR has GOT to be malfunctioning."
Tasha: "They want me to put this WHERE?
So if I unwrap this, there's gonna be chocolate inside?
The main themes of Easter are seen in many cultures.
The "Bunny" concept didn't always translate well.
Tasha finally perfected the 25th century Chia Pet.
Geordi: What an ugly looking bird.
Tasha: I shall name it George.
Are you sure this is the right thing for cleaning the toilet Geordi?
See Geordi, I've been watching this old holo called Rollerball and it's given me an idea ...
Thar smartarse Wesley ain't gonna see this one coming!
Has anybody ever seen Tasha Year & the BBC reporter Clare Balding at the same time ... ?
I'm gonna win this fondue competition hands down!
Inspired by Geordi's VISOR, Tasha considers a hand replacement.


Copyright Graham Kennedy Page views : 38,063 Release date : 1 May 2018