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Nelix added a laugh track to try to "bump up" interest in the monthly Starfleet Security Protocol reviews.
Janeway: "Congratulations, Mr. Neelix. Installing a Wheel of Fortune here was the best idea you ever had!"
Seven wished she'd never worked out how Copperfield did all those tricks.
It's 2374... and the vuvuzela's STILL annoy everyone trying to watch the World Cup.
The Good, The Bad, The Ugly, the Disinterested, The HOT, The Gassy, ...
Nelix: I don't recognize this gas giant.
Janeway: Yes, most of us forgot about him after he went to prison.
Seven: At least Nixon had a sense of "shame".
Thanks to Trumps Tarrifs the whole crew has to share one screen to read their letters from home .
Harry: "There is an unidentified cloaked object in front of us."
Neelix: "It's a bird!"
Chakotay: "It's a ship!"
*Klingon Bird of Prey de-cloaks and immediately fires at Voyager*
"And the Federation forward lines up for a penalty kick" - Football announcer
The Snack Bar named Not Neelix's drew a capacity crowd.
Janeway:"There's instant demotion for anyone who mocks the idea of a female 'Doctor Who'".
"This is Captain Katherine Janeway of the starship 'Voyager'. How can we help you?"
"Captain Janeway, my name is Arthur Dent and if you're still looking for Earth, I have some rather bad news for you."
Janeway: "Okay, but this is the last cat video we are watching today. After that, everyone gets back to work!"
Ensign Kim: "That's a big wall."
Neelix: "That's a very big wall."
Seven of Nine: "Why was it built?"
Janeway: "The wall was an expression of ego by a local leader."
The 23rd Century version of " Wheel Of Fortune " . Crew of Voyager vs Crew of Uss Defiant .
Chakotay looks in horror as he sees Mike Tyson with a similar face tattoo !!! My god no wonder people keep avoiding me !!!
Oooooo The Claw!
We get home in three episodes!!!
It's true:
No one will ever forget the atrocity of the "Trump Internment Camps for Children".
"So... that was 'These Are The Voyages...'"
Even on Voyager they were unable to avoid the World Cup coverage!
The crew looked totally bewildered as they watched the 2018 FIFA from the archives.
There was nothing much to do in the Delta Quadrant except watch reruns of Days of Our Lives.
I understand the concept of "stoppage time", but this cannot be correct.
Broadcast: "GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooal"
Broadcast: "GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooal"
Janeway: "God... I hate that Ronaldo."
Everone's new hobby: Watching B'Elanna playing tennis!
It's so captivating...
Look at the size of that thing!!
Watching the continuing plane crash of the Trump Presidency.
Tuvok: “What is this ‘You Tube’, and why are there so many videos of cats?”
Neelix: “Videos of cats??? I thought this was the menu choices for tomorrow’s lunch.”
Tuvok: “What is this ‘You Tube’, and why are there so many videos of cats?”
The crew looking shocked to find President Trump IS shorter than the Canadian Prime Minister !!!
Seven of Nine: "This is the 200th film in the series, yet you all still accept that this 'James Bond' has been the same character all along?"
Neelix: "B'Elanna is beating up that alien diplomat... Shouldn't we intervene?"
Janeway: "Later. For now, go and fetch me a cup of coffee!"
"I don't understand. I thought we were supposed to be seeing messages from Earth. Who is this Rick Astley and what is a Rick Roll?"
"I've been through the entire upload. This is all there is."
*Tom Paris' laughter is heard through the door*
"Well...I guess it was good."
"Yeah. You think Lando and that droid were really...you know?"
"I have no idea. That was weird."
"Yeah."
"But it was great seeing Darth Maul again though."
"Yes!"
The crew watched the North Korea talks with great anticipation. Things were tense. Then they remembered that this happened hundreds of years ago and no one cared anymore.
Tom Paris sits alone on the bridge wondering if he was supposed to be somewhere.
Kim: The producers said only these specific Klingons look different-
Chakotay: Shut up, Harry. They all look like that! Truncated xenomorph skulls... Six nostrils!
Neelix: Why are there purple Klingons?
Seven: Real-time holographic communication over hundreds of light years? We don't have that.
Chakotay: A Vulcan admiral? But Spock was the first Vulcan in Starfleet.
Janeway: Let's just watch.
The crew waiting for another Lebron James loss in the NBA Finals.
The mood shifted when a crewmate quipped "It's only a model."
Kim: I can't wait to see Meghan's dress!
Ensign Kim: What that on my leg ?
Seven Of Nine : Relax Ensign ..... Resistance is fultile !!
Janeway : Nelix ! Is that your hand on my ass ??
Nelix : Hmmm well , just maybe.
Janeway : Could you go a little higher please.
The crew had a blank looks on there faces as they watched the Uss Enterprise come on the screen during Star Trek : Discovery.
Janeway: "...and here are a few slides from my trip to the Grand Canyon..."
Tuvok: (rethinks logic of suicide)
Seven just noticed the guy behind her in the 2nd row is more interested in her heavenly body.
Many of the crew were disappointed to see that Neelix' presentation was simply a cap of the new Fortnite emote he purchased.
"Wait... who's driving?"
Why is Seven checking out Neelix's butt, while everyone else is staring at the screen?
The entire crew... Simultaneously... Realize the Neelix and Netflix are not the same thing...
Chakotay: " I need EVERYONE without a regulation uniform or a Y chromosome to leave the room IMMEDIATELY.
Chakotay: "What's this called again?"
Janeway: "The Final Frontier."
Chakotay: "Hopefully it WAS the final."
Janeway: "Not even close..."
To the shock of the crew, Neelix broadcasts the long lost Kes fantasy video diary. Consensus is that he should have previewed it prior to the event.
That moment when you realize Voyager is the last "real" Star Trek series.
The Voyager all hands staff meeting proceeded as usual: A couple people snickering at the presentation, Seven staring a Chakotay's butt, and a lady in back wondering what in the heck she was doing there.
The crew's jaws drop when they see the Premier Of Ontario : Kathleen Wynne !!!
The crew look puzzled as they watch some video from Call Of Duty .
The crew receives a video message from Earth , but some idiot filmed it vertical so the crew had to squint to see it.
And tonights Thunderball number is ....
First Row (R to L):
"Dear God!"
"Dear God!"
"Dear God!"
"Dear God!"
Second Row (R to L)
"Dear God!"
"Cool!"
"Dear God!"
"Dear God!"
"Telaxian... Species 218... Dense musculature. He will make an excellent drone."
Third Row (R to L):
"Dear God!"
"Dear God!"
"Dear God!"
"Dear God!"
...
The crew was completely floored when they found out Donald Trump XXV was elected head of Starfleet Command !!!
The Royal Wedding was even transmitted to the Delta Quadrant!
Seven of Nine: Resistance IS NOT futile afterall.
Janeway: What the heck is this!?
Neelix: I was rummaging around in the computer looking for information on Cardassians, but I believe I spelled the name wrong and found this old Earth program about something called Kardashians.
Kim: Hard to tell either species apart, really.
Voyager crew gathers to watch the 2016 election returns.
Chakotay: "Any idea who installed that camera in B'Elanna's shower?"
Janeway: "No, but you may rest assured that I'll order to investigate this very thoroughly... eventually."
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Neelix: "And, how do you like it?"
Janeway: "Well, it's a very abstract kind of movie. Just colors and shapes and stuff. How did you create this spotted pattern?"
Neelix: "Oh, it's just a closeup of my butt while I am twerking."
Nelix: "Good God! What IS this??"
Janeway: "No worries, Mr. Nelix. Just a Federation Sexual Harassment Training video."
Neelix: "Why do I need to go through this training... I ALREADY know how to do all this."
Lieutenant in Back Row: "Come on... Sea Biscuit!"
All: "Sussssh!"
Super Bowl CDXI: The Voyager crew is awestruck by the first Super Bowl appearance of the Detroit Lions.
Seven of Nine: "I have already assimilated this holo-episode."
Everyone: "Shh!"
Seven, "I did some research into what a 'Dirty Neelix' is.
"Honestly, captain, is it completely ethical to use the internal sensors to broadcast from Tom and B'elanna's quarters?
There were mixed reactions from the crew when Neelix presented his exploration of what humans term a "snuff film."
"So NOBODY brought any folding chairs?"
Suddenly, Seven noticed something worthy of her interest.
"It appears to be logic and common sense... we're headed right for it, but I guarantee I'll find a way to steer us clear of it."
Janeway suddenly realizes that Netflix just immediately starts the next episode before you even notice...
It's been a slow week, so our heroes have been passing the time by binge-watching "The Orville".
"Keeping Up With The Cardassians" finally reaches the Delta Quadrant.
Kirk: “Split up! You look like a cadet review!"

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Copyright Graham Kennedy Page views : 39,392 Release date : 1 Jul 2018