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T. Kirk




Star Trek XI
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T'Pol took it pretty hard when she found out she missed holloween
T'Pol doesn't need a holloween costume, she's scary enough
Bulimia?? I'm not bulimic! Check out my teeth?
♪ . "You'll wonder where the yellow went when you brush your teeth with Pepsodent" . ♬
Constipated Vulcans... not a pretty site.
"Smile when ya call me that, pardner."
Hey guys! I just got my braces off!
The face of death has never looked so OMG SO FREAKING SCARY!!!!
Archer: ''We'll have some Andorian dignitaries as guests on board, but not enough quarters. Do you mind sharing your quarter with an Andorian for a while?''
Archer: ''Uh... OK then, I'll ask Trip instead...''
Embarrassing moments during ventriloquism lessons.
Everybody wants to show'em off after a good dental checkup.
Behold, the Vulcan "O" face!
T'Pol: ''No, you didn't! Did you just really call me ILLOGICAL?!?''
Joachim: "Yours is the superior dental work."
Nobody believed T'Pol's claims that the Vulcans had been a very savage race in the past, until she bit off Archer's fingertip.
"Lieutenant Uhura cease firing your phaser into my back."

If a Vulcan holds in toxic flatuence
for seven years,
would it be a Pon Fart?
I slaved over that dinner you WILL eat it!
She that smelt it, dealt it.
Damn you "Trip" , that wasn't a chocolate bar , it was Exlax !!!! Where'd they put the ladies room on a Starship !!! RED ALERT !!!
NO! No, no, no. Over my dead body. I am NOT going to kiss Wesley Crusher!
Do you think if I got fangs to go with the ears then I could get a part on "Twilight"?
It's sometimes VERY hard for T'Pol to suppress her emotions around all those illogical humans...
T'Pol's Weekly Emotion Lessons:
Trip: "Show me Fear! ...well, ok... I'M scared."
Trip: ''Hello T'Pol!''
T'Pol: ''Nisssssse to ssssssssee you, Mr. Tucker.''
Trip: ''Er... Why are you talking like that.''
T'Pol: ''We are about to enter Gorn sssssspace, ssssssso dessssssided to practisssssse their language.''
Phlox: Let's see, Vulcan menstruation... Ah ha! It says here the best treatment is a compound called Terellium D...
Trip: Note to self: never give T'Pol alcohol, she's one mean drunk!
Romulan ale*
(*ale not included)
Here Jolene demonstrates the general reaction fans had to Enterprise
T'Pol: No, I did not wake up on the wrong side of the warp reactor.
Vulcans don't flatulate. They have the incredibly powerful sphincter muscles to prove it.
Archer: What's wrong with your face?
T'Pol: Nothing.
Archer: But your teeth are showing.
T'Pol: It's 'Happy Hour.'
SSSSHHHHHIT !!!! I forgot to put on one of those human female things !!!!!
Trip: What are you doing, T'Pol?
T'pol: I am attempting to emulate human emotional expressions. This one is arousal.
Trip: Uh..., I've never felt such a strange sensation of arousal and... fear.
T'Pol: ''There is a plasma conduit leaking on deck C. It sounds a bit like this: Hissssss...''
Moments earlier, Phlox removes his "enamel brightening eels" from T'Pol's teeth. Little did he realize the adhesive quality they would bestow on her Vulcan saliva.
Another satisfied customer of the Joan Rivers Memorial Facelift Clinic.
Whenever Porthos was displeased with something, he growled, and Archer did whatever he could to comply with his wishes. Thus, T'Pol considered it quite logical to try out this strategy too.
Where will YOU be when your twenty condoms of China White Heroin burst?
I have the same reaction when I find out someone messed with my computer settings.
and another user of Windows 8 realizes that the start menu is missing.
Always brush your teeth, kids! It's the most logical course of action.
It is unwise, you devil of Denebian slime
To tease a Vulcan in rhyme
Revenge, I am told
Is best served cold
So I'll get you back this time.
[with reference to one of my previous Caption Comp entries]
T'Pol's Weekly Emotion Lessons:
Trip: "Show me apathy! ...hmmm... How about Indifference? Wow... Are you actually TRYING to look like Porthos?"
T'Pol's Weekly Emotion Lessons:
Trip: "Show me arousal! ... Yes! YES!! -NO!!! NOOOO!!!"
My, what BIG TEETH she has!
My, what BIG EARS she has!
My, what BIG BR- BR- BROWN EYES she has!
"Selfies" never improve.
DAMN YOU !!!! CAPTAIN ! You have no right to tempted me during Pon Farr . Take a number .
That Pok Tar was amazing. . . is there any stuck in my teeth?
Vulcan dentistry: The logical choice for attaining the whitest teeth and freshest breath in the galaxy.
Subcommander rank pin stabbing my neck.
Never come between a Vulcan and her logic!
...but in the 2150, the humans pushed through their Warp Five Project, and there was lots of teeth gnashing on the Vulcan's side.
T'Pol Jenkins!
And you thought YOUR driver's license photo turned out bad.
Don't make me angry. You won't like me when I'm angry.
Always vaccinate your Vulcans against rabies!
PMS is NOT logical.
Don't. Call. Me. EMOTIONAL!
You'd better give me a good caption or I'll hunt you down and get emotional on your sorry butt!
Ooooo bitch! scratch your eyes out!
I find your lack of Trek disturbing.
Phlox: ''I will call this new disease I have diagnosed in T'Pol 'space rabies'!''
Vulcans do show their emotions, should the need arise. For example, T'Pol here is expressing both anger and embarrassment as Archer gets his ass kicked for the 147th time.
T'pol is thinking of all then lens flares that will appear in the next J.J. Abrams movie.
T'pol is practising looking happy and nailing it!
Looking at picture the of Riker from a few months ago...
For clarification:
"PMS" stands for Putting up with Men's Shit.
For that extra shine, try new DentaPlus Toothpaste.
"I am T'Pol. Hear me roar!"
T'Pol: ''Glue in my toothpaste? I will never understand where the humor lies in those destructive acts the humans call 'pranks'...''
qFAVRt Thank you for your article. Keep writing.
T'Pol's Weekly Emotion Lessons:
Trip: "Show me happy! ...HAPPY!! Think about puppies! -WHOA... Let's work on social interaction today."
The real reason that Vulcans only mate once every seven years is that Vulcan females have PMS for the other six years.
T'Pol's Weekly Emotion Lessons:
Trip: "Show me angry! That's it, angry!, no, not constipated... ANGRY!"
... breathe through the mouth & I won't smell their stench...
breathe through the mouth & I won't smell their stench...
... breathe through the mouth & I won't smell their stench...
Where will you be when your Trellium-D runs out?
Where will YOU be when your Pa'nar Syndrome symptoms act up?
Jolene Blalock after first reading the script to "These are the Voyages..."
"Come on, T'Pol. Show us a smile."
*T'Pol tries to smile*
"Oh. You know what? Nevermind. Stop smiling."
Bye Bye Oooze! Seabond: the denture adhesive wafer with no ooze like paste. Now with a vegan formula for those toothless Vulcans out there! Because an oozing denture just isn't logical!
"That ship? With those transporters??"
Vulcan toothpaste commercial. Because smiling would be illogical.
T'Pol: "Uniform.... to... tight!"
I took a couple runs of plastic surgery to unset T'Pol's repeated attempts to smile.
Funny thing is, it actually takes more muscles for a Vulcan to smile than frown
Colgate lost 50% of their market share when this magazine ad was released
It took a few tries until T'Pol learned how to smile
...and yet ANOTHER graduate of the William Shatner School of Acting.
Stereotypical pissed off Irishman.....
...sort of.
T'Pol showing off her flawless teeth. Flawless thanks to brushing with Colgate.
Damn theeth whitening thrips!
Austin Powers: "OK, you're an animal! Yes, there we go. You're a tiger! You're Tony the Tiger! You're grrreat! Very good. Loving it. Now you're a lemur. Running as a pack. We go left. We go right. There's a predator out of the jungle. What's going on? Burrow! That's right, you're a lemur. That's all you've got. You don't have sharp teeth capable of biting. It's crazy.... And I'm spent."
Ferengi: "Computer, begin 'Vulcan Love Slave, part two'."
(This appears)
Ferengi: "Lovely."
Archer: "You got a war face?"
T'Pol: "Sir?"
Archer: "AAHHH!! That's a war face! Now let me see your war face!"
T'Pol: "This is most illogical..."
Archer: "You didn't convince me! Now let me see your REAL war face!"
T'Pol: (gives this face)
Archer: "You don't scare me! Work on it!"
T'Pol: "Yes, sir."
T'Pol just determined the situation warrants a colorful metaphor.
And for the next few days, Trip was the woman (but didn't we kinda suspect that anyway?).
T'Pol, her Pon Farr peaked.
Where's Trip? I need Trip...NOW!!!
Do it like they do on the Klingon erotic channel.
Take your hands off Trip and nobody gets hurt!
The follies of Botox...
Trip: "Sure... I like the pan flute. Maybe a little Zamfir-"
T'Pol: "Pon Farr... I SAID PON FARR!!"
Trip: "Sure... I'd love something pan fried. How about some catfish-"
T'Pol: "Pon Farr... I SAID PON FARR!!"
"I'm going to be topless or naked HOW often on this show?!?"
Let's see you grit those teeth! Vulcaaaaannnnnn LAGAAAAANNNNN!!!
My, what big ears she has!
My, what big teeth she has!
My eyes are up here, buddy.


Copyright Graham Kennedy Page views : 8,169 Release date : 1 Oct 2014