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Caption Competition

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Bones: He has an STD, but won't say how he caught it.
Kirk: An STD? I thought Vulcans went through Ponn-Farr. I didn't think Vulcans were interested in such things until that time.
Spock: You forget I'm only half Vulcan. The human half loves da booty.
Kirk: I understand being a redshirt on the Enterprise is dangerous, but you didn't have to keep the skulls of the dead.
Kirk: A bar fight. You got into a bar fight. What happened?
Spock: I was defending my honor.
Kirk: Defending your honor. That sounds illogical for a Vulcan.
Spock: It is the reason its sounds illogical to a human is what makes it logical.
Bones: Give it up Jim. A Vulcan can spin anything and make it sound logical.
Kirk: So, Spock, are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Spock: Well if you were thinking that the characters from "Pinky and the Brain" were modeled on the Doctor and me, then no.
Kirk: So, Spock, are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Spock: Well if you were thinking that the Doctor's shirts are always unflattering, then yes.
Kirk: So, Spock, are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Trump copied Shatner’s hair style, but not very well.
Kirk: Opinion, Spock?
Spock: Obviously, Trump is trying to woo Hope Hicks so that she will be protected from testifying against him as a spouse.
Bones: The guy is already married!
Spock: But for how long?
Kirk: Simon Says...
Spock quietly mimics: HUMAN says...
Spock always managed to ruin the fun every time they played "Simon Says".
Kirk: "So, what do you think, Chinese?"
Spock: "Uh, how about Thai?"
Bones: "Nah, too spicy. Greek?"
Kirk: "Uh, Mexican?"
Bones "Pizza?"
Spock: "Thin or thick?"
All Three: "CHICAGO!"
Frankie Chestnuts is a master of comedic repartee, PegasusJF is certainly not.
Frankie Chestnuts is a master of comedic repartee, Spock is certainly not.
Spock: I have no idea where The Geek has been hiding out...
Kirk: Spock! We FOUND HIM IN YOUR CLOSET!
Kirk: "Well Mr. Spock, we are all EARS, make your POINT!"
Spock: "There is no need to speak these words in all caps, Captain."
Kirk:Spock its ok if only had sex once every seven years i'd go crazy too.
Kirk : Bones , why is Mr. Spock as stiff as a rock ?
Bones : Damn it Jim , he took one of those old earth remedies , Viagra . I Think it worked in reverse !!
Spock: An aching back is often the result of poor posture captain, as I am sure the doctor will agree.
Kirk: "What did you say, Spock!? That your daddy can kick my daddy's butt? Seriously!? My daddy saved 800 lives!"
Spock: "Not in this timeline."
Kirk: "No Mr. Spock, you got it wrong. Bones had to swear the Hippocratic oath, while I had to swear the hip-ocratic oath."
Scene from the lost TOS episode "Spock's Face".
Kirk judges Spock to have the best "Resting Bitch Face" for the third straight year.
McCoy: "Well, Jim, what do you think of my new Spock statue? It took me six months with a phaser set to stun!"
Kirk: "It looks great, Bones, but why did you make him smile so much?"
MCCoy: "Okay, Spock, it's time for your annual physical."
Spock: "if I were human, I believe my response would be, 'go to hell'."
Kirk: "..."
Spock: "If I were human."
Kirk: "Do I look authoritative when I stand like this?"
Spock: "Yes, Captain. Very authoritative."
Kirk: "Bud..."
McCoy: "Weis..."
Spock: (Taking deep, medatative breaths)
Kirk: "Do you really think so?"
Spock: "The evidence does support the hypothesis, Captain."
McCoy: "So let me get this straight. You believe The Geek, who hasn't signed in months, suddenly reappeared and wrote our caption?"
Spock: "Although your propensity for expository dialogue is exhausting, yes, you are correct, Doctor."
Kirk and McCoy "Naaahhh."
McCoy: Marveling at Spock's utter lack of emotions.
Kirk: Really needs Spock's perspective on the current crisis.
Spock: Calculating the speed at which light travels as it bends around McCoy's head.
Kirk: "...so you're telling me that if you don't get some Vulcan tuchus once every 7 years you DIE? I can't survive THREE DAYS!"
Kirk: "If you are half-Vulcan, then why are both of your ears pointy?"
Kirk: "Yeah, this is unmistakably Spock, but is this really OUR Spock? I mean Nimoy-Spock, and not Quinto-Spock or Peck-Spock, or whoever?"
Mr. Spock's collection of skulls proves his intense interest in the after effects of the Vulcan mind meld.
"Yes, Captain, 'Stormy Daniels' is my drag name."
"So you're saying that Michael Cohen paid you hush money for 'services rendered' during the election campaign and that now we've got to go back in time so you can testify at the Mueller inquiry?"
"That is correct, Captain."
"What do you think Bones?"
"It's gotta be true. We all know Spock doesn't have a sense of humour."
Spock: "I don't believe you, Captain."
Kirk: "So? Look at my hips then!"
Spock: "Why?"
Kirk: "Hips don't lie!"
"Yes, Captain, we will just have to stay here all month while the DITL'ers throw captions at us."
"They wouldn't dare!"
"With a pose like that, Captain? Oh yes they will!"
Spock doesn't dare move or the hemorrhoid suppository might come out.
"No, Spock. Just NO. I accept that the transfer window is open, but you are NOT going to swap Wesley Crusher for Jar Jar Binks!"
The accusation is, it was Spock, with the pointy skull, in the doctor's cabin!
No, I haven't got a Cludeo what's going on either.
"Dammit, Jim, I'm a doctor, not a volcanologist!"
"Volcanologist?"
"I mean vulcanologist."
"Huh?"
"Actually, looking at him, maybe I was right the first time."
It's only logical that the quality of the captions have drastically decreased since the voting system was implemented.
Poor Mr. Spock , He was just about to let a fart go . Then this idiots show'd up !!!
Kirk : Mr. Spock , I'm going to ask you again . Did you wash your hands after you went to the bathroom ???
Mr. Spock : I find that highly illogical that I wouldn't have performed that task , Captain .
McCoy : I can quickly check with one of my Medical scanners.
Kirk: "What do you mean, we have run out of redshirts!?"
Kirk: Spock, I think your taking the saying "skeletons in your closet" a little to seriously...
Kirk: Spock, I have a bone to pick with you.
Spock: How convenient. The good doctor is already here to assist you.
Bones: I'm a doctor, not a... SONNOVA BI-
Kirk: Political comment?
Spock: Political comment.
Bones: I concur.
In my own defence Captain, I do not believe singing in the shower should be a beheading offence no matter if I am off-key or not.
Kirk: "Bones analyzed the skulls on this shelf and found out they are all fake! That archeologist who joined our crew is a total fraud!"
Spock: "What a skullduggery."
Kirk: "So what do you have to say for yourself, young man?
Spock: "There was no collusion... But even if there was, it's not illegal..."
Kirk: "That's gotta be the biggest pile of horse hooey I've ever heard..."
Spock" "Witch hunt! Sad! Disgraceful! Not Good! Fake News! NO Collusion! Collusion is not a crime... but NO Collusion. I ran out of gas! I got a flat tire. I locked my keys in the car! An old friend came in from out of town! Someone stole my car! There was an earthquake! A terrible flood! Locusts! IT WASN’T MY FAULT, I SWEAR TO GOD!!
.
Gentlemen, does that sound as stupid to you as it does to me?"
Continued assertions of "No collusion" are illogical.
Kirk: "I don't care how 'logical' a keen interest in comparative anatomy is Spock! Your skull collection is creepy!"
Kirk: "You bonehead!"
Spock: "It is illogical to be insulting captain"
Kirk: "I was talking to the skull behind you"
McCoy: It still amazes me how Spock can stand there like that for hours on end.
Kirk: Whatever he's thinking about must be deep and profound.
Spock: (thinking) What *is* the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?
"Bones, you sure you put his brain back in right?"
Kirk: Bones, that statue of Spock is so life long it is amazing.
Spock: Captain it is really me
Kirk: Oh sh_t
Captain: Spock, wipe that superior look off your face!
Spock: I will, Captain, as soon as you wipe that tribble OFF YOUR HEAD.
Kirk: Spock, wipe that superior look off your face!
Spock: I will, Captain, as soon as you wipe that tribble OFF YOUR HEAD.
Bones: Spock, you are out of your Vulcan mind.
Kirk: "Whom are you calling 'tribble brain'!?"
These are the Star Trek Three, but Spock is right there.
Kirk: "Alright then. I'll cosplay as Captain Janeway, and Spock as Seven of Nine."
McCoy: "Well, you both got their respective standard poses down to a T."
Kirk: "Well, Spock? Care to explain why you stuck a 'Kick Me' notice on McCoy's back?"
Spock: "Actually, Captain, the fault lies with the doctor himself. When he restored my brain he attempted to install a sense of humour in there."
McCoy: "Well, I don't mind admitting to having botched THAT operation."
Spock: "On the contrary, Doctor; it was your own sense of humour which you installed."
Kirk: SEVEN YEARS?!?
Dr McCoy says you've been using his skull collection to drink Vulcan brandy. What do you have to say for yourself Spock?
Kirk: "You are putting out the Halloween decoration a few months too early."
Spock: "I apologize, Captain. Maintaining the calendar is a bit tricky in outer space."
"...he is the very model of a modern Vulcan officer!"
"Hmmm... I think you're right, Bones - the left one IS pointier."
Kirk: Must...you always stand at attention?!
Kirk, "So that was the Vulcan Death Fart?" McCoy, "Neither silent nor deadly. We need to get more cabbage in his plumeek soup".
Kirk: "So let me get this straight. You've insured the Enterprise online just to get 2-for-1 cinema tickets?"
Spock: "Yes, Captain. The meerkat was most convincing."
Bones: "See, Jim. I told you he was delusional."
Kirk: "You're right, I'd have gone for the free meals offer!"
"Yes, Captain. I do think it is morbid for the doctor to keep the skulls of red shirts, I mean crewmen, who have died in service."
The monthly Enterprise Fun Committee meeting to discuss ways or improving crew morale.
Bones: "See, green blood, green bogeys, 'nuff said."
Kirk insists on inspecting Spock's nasal hair.
Kirk: "Bones, is it just me, or did his ears become even pointier lately?"
Kirk: "Bones, I just need to know... WHY do you have a life-size wax model of Spock in your quarters?"
Bones: "Well... you know... Study of Vulcan anatomy?"
Kirk: "Hmmm... OK. I can buy that."
Bones (Mouthing to Spock): *Poser*
Kirk (turning): "What was that?"
Spock (Mouthing to Bones): *Poser*
Kirk (turning): "What?"
Kirk: "No, I'll tell you both exactly what happens now: YOU apologize for calling Spock a pointy-eared hobgoblin, and YOU apologize for calling Bones an over-emotional quack."
Kirk: He who smell't it, Spock.
Seconds before a horrible transporter accident generates SpirKoy.
Some one knows how to get a head.
Little known fact:
Prior to becoming a vegetarian, Spock had been quite the trophy hunter.
Spock: "I didn't know that Dr. McCoy has so many bones in his office."
Kirk: "Well, what did YOU think how he got that nickname?"
Kirk: "Did you seriously try to mind-melt with the skulls in Bones' skull collection!?"
Kirk: "I just don't know what to think, Spock! A degree in phrenology? That's more like something I'd expect from Bones."
McCoy: "Yeah, that's tr...HEY!... Yeah, that's true...."
Hey look, McCoy's collection of Red Shirt memorabilia is almost complete!
Spock struggled to mask his disappointment after yet another failed Enterprise Talent Show performance. The reviews of his puppet show included terms like, "strange", "morbid", and - in Doctor McCoy's distinctive handwriting - "My God man! What the hell is wrong with you?!"
Well, Spock? He's in your division, what do YOU suggest we do with Ensign Lecter?
Kirk: "Spock, please start assembling a skeleton crew for our next mission. Everything you'll need for this is behind you."
(all together now!)
You put your hands on your hips
And pull your knees in tight
And do the pelvic thrust
That really drives you insane
LET'S START THE WARP CORE AGAIN!!!!

... put your hands on your hips,
and pull your knees in tight,
and do the pelvic thrust,
that really drives you insane,
LET'S DO THE TIME WARP AGAIN!!!!!
They spent ages trying to teach Spock how to play "Captain Says"
"I don't know what's wrong with him, Jim. I'm a doctor, not a vulcanologist!"
"Spock, have you just farted?"
"I'm sorry, Captain. I had burrito at lunchtime."
Kirk: "I KNEW it! Spock has a lot of skeletons in his closet!"
McCoy: "Well technically, they are all just the skulls..."
Kirk: Ok, once again from the top. Spock, I want you to stand completely still.
Spock: ...
Kirk: No, No, NO! You're supposed to do the opposite!
"Spock, analysis!"
"That is not a good pose, Captain."
Attempt #1,540 on the Enterprise's Improv Comedy night to make Spock crack a smile.
here on Candid Camera, we put a heated, clothed plasticine model of Spock and see how the crew reacts.
Time to confess Mr SPock, we have the remains of your victims all around us.
Kirk:"okay, which one of you made Ensign Chekov cry?"
From the “Male Guide to Posing”, from right to left, we see:
Pompous
Different Pompous
and
Incredulous
From the “Male Guide to Posing”, from right to left, we see:
Pompous
REALLY Pompous
and
Incredulous
Kirk: "I guess the decoration in here explains McCoy's nickname"
Kirk: "Are you freaked out about all the skulls around here?
Spock: "That would be illogical, Captain"
Pointy Sideburns Contest... IN SPAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!
Scissors, Rock, Spock, Lizard.
Kirk: "You kept it a secret that your father is non other than Ambassador Sarek..."
McCoy: "...and that you have a brother who is the leader of a group of religious fanatics..."
Kirk: "Are there any other close family members you never told us about?"
Spock: "Well... uh..."

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Copyright Graham Kennedy Page views : 40,946 Release date : 1 Sep 2018