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I want someone to look at me like she is looking at a redshirt.
Little known fact, Klingon females are courageous warriors, but shiny object and mirrors are their weakness,
This guy is about to find out that the dine and dash trick doesn't work on a space station, especially when your waitress was a Klingon.
Why the lights at the club brighten and you realize that was a Cardassian you were dancing with.
Announcer: The female Klingon is intrigued. She likes what she sees. The seller now must navigate the fine between making the sell and having his arms broken.
Have you ever seen a Klingon give the "Stink Eye"? It really is quite... horrifying.
Have you ever seen a Klingon try to hold in a laugh? It really is quite... horrifying.
B'Ethor: "Who are you calling a walking Halloween costume!?"
Garrak : Is the collar on your blouse a little tight ??
B'Etor's reaction to seeing Wesley Crusher in the store . GRRRRRRRR !!!
The eighties came and went - but on some planets, giant shoulder pads are still considered quite fashionable!
Wesley Crusher into cross dressing.
"Am I angry? I could have worn that nice blue dress and looked fabulous, but instead they give me a chunky knitted jumper with the chest cut out and some crummy plastic armour. Of course I'm ANGRY!"
What do you mean you ran out of 2255 Blood Wine ? !!!!
Dealer: And to finish with our collection, we have this beautiful blue dress. Do Klingons wear dresses? Bah nevermind... It would suit you very well and it would highlight your... georgeous curves. I don't know if we can armor it, but I'll see that detail with the designer. Mrs ? You are still here ?
B'Etor: Pleeeese, I beg you .... I'll buy what you want but ... Where are the toilets?
" do I eat Wesley after I kill him? Or before?"
"This wrinkle cream you sold me ... IT ISN'T WORKING!"
Klingon corsets make me stronger!
Betor found out nothing could make her latest fashion choice better.
BE'tor wasn't happy that someone else had picked the Jessica Rabbit costume for Halloween !!!!
If there is one thing Klingons are NOT known for, it's for having a glass jaw...
"We don't discuss this with outsiders", was Worf's famous answer to the question why TOS era Klingons had no ridges.
But other Klingons too can become very tightlipped when confronted with this issue.
The look on a Klingon's face when John Tory VII wins the Mayoral election in the 24th Century !!!!
B'Etor: "It's very simple, really. Either you pay for the dinner, including the most expensive blood wine they have on the menu, or I will disembowel you."
B'Etor: "They may have improved the Discovery Klingons, but my cleavage still looks better than L'Rell's!"
MFW I accidentally sit on my Swiss Army Pain Stick.
B'Etor: "...and if I try very hard, I can make my chin appear just as wrinkly as my forehead!"
B'Etor always has to try not to laugh whenever she talks to humans. Their foreheads are just so ridiculous!
Mr Trump, you lack honor. Arm yourself.
"Do you like my boobs? I call them Qo'noS and Praxis!"
"They are indeed very nice. But are they... real?"
"Let's just say that I hope that THIS Praxis doesn't implode."
Ugh! I should not have had that G'agh from the Klingon restaurant on the Promenade!
Melania's greatest outrage: "Horseface" used to be Trump's special little pet name for her!
"This blue dress ... do you do an armoured version?"
“Why yes, our traditional costume is based on combat-ready body armor but has a huge hole in the front exposing our breasts and vital organs, why do you ask?”
“I came to chew bubblegum and kick ass, and I... well, I’m still working on the gum.”
“Has anyone seen my pet vole?”
“*mmph* um, no?” *gulp*”
B'Etor: "Well... uh... YOU are the petaQ! Ha! See how that hurts!?"
Spotting her target in the crowd, B'Etor swiftly approaches, pokes him with her rolled up newspaper and says:
"YOU are Frankie Chestnuts and I claim my prize of 10 credits!"
"Why the smug smile?"
"I sent Mr. Mot over to the Discovery Klingons... and look what happened!"
"Have you seen my Precioussss? My Precioussss! Where is my Precioussss? Need my Precioussss!"
Has anyone seen B'Etor & comedian Bill Bailey in the same place at the same time?
Ummm... Where's the Bathroom?
Why don't you take a picture? It lasts longer.
Och, see you Jimmy!
Aaaaagh! It's a bug eyed alien ... I mean Klingon ... I mean alien ... I mean ... oh, whatever!
B'Etor reaching for her disruptor , when she realizes she left it in the ship . DOH !!!!!
Were you talking to me ? I'm the only one standing here ! Are YOU talking to me ?!
My eyes are up HERE!
........No dad. I haven't been drinking sugary soft drinks!
B'Etor's trip to LV223 hadn't gone well , as a Facehugger had stuck its self to her ridges.
A Klingon's reaction to a distant relative of Brett Kavanaugh's being sworn in as Commander & Chief of Starfleet Command !!!!!!
Neerner , Neener , Neener !!! My Ridges are bigger then yours !!!
My ridges are UP here.
Klingon Charades at its finest.
Klingon: "If you stop staring at may breasts, you... may live."
Garak : Wait ... Don't tell me , the air-freshner in the washroom needs to be replaced ?!
A Klingon's feeble attempt at smiling.
Visiting a Cardassian intelligence operative, because today is a good day to spy.
How do you say, "My lips are sealed." without contradicting yourself?
"There is nothing in Klingon uniform regulations that forbids cleavage. Look it up!"
While skilled in the various Klingon martial arts, B'Etor's boxing career was short lived on account of her glass jaw.
chaH tuQmoH jIH'e' HIvje'
Aaarrgghh, supersour gumball!
"Blue isn't really my colour."
What to reply when someone asks you to guess their age ...
My Grandma always said "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all."
My face is the THIRD one!
Danger! Klingon thinking hard!
DITL Captioneers speak in hushed tones about the Vulcan Death-Fart, they will soon see the horror of the Klingon Death-Fart
3 seconds after this, half of the people on the promenade were in the infirmary suffering from methane poisoning.
You're out on a day in the Promenade, looking for some nice cloths. Then Son of a Gun you realize you forgot your latinum in your room.
It's hard being the only Klingon in the galaxy not liking gagh, but always getting invited by well-meaning non-Klingons to eat some gagh with them...
I take it Quarks Gamma Quadrant Chilly didn't agree with you !!
Learn some Klingon anatomy, for Kahless' sake! This is NOT a front booty!
"Welcome to sick bay. I'm covering while the EMH is making a house call. Which bit do you want me to chop off?"
"And let's see what you could have won ..."
Look at that face.
You never want to see that look.
That’s the kind of SPECIAL LOOK that a woman makes when you tell her that what she is wearing looks “out of date", because YOU FORGOT she had made that dress YEARS AGO for the renewal of your wedding vows.
You never want to see that face.
Hands that can sew through metal are attached to to that face.
Garak : Holding your breath won't help to lower the price.
Garak : I'm sorry there's no public washroom here.
Klingon : MMMMMMMMMM !!!!!!!!!!
I think your suit is squeezing your breasts to tight .
Klingon : YOU THINK !!!!
FIX IT !!! The first words out of your mouth.
"Yeah, I played for KISS before they got famous."
You'd look like this too if you were wearing a chainmail thong!
A Klingon staring at you can even be terrifying without showing teeth at the same time!
Those aren't real.
From off screen: "I find your lack of faith disturbing." Klingon: "Aack."
Where will YOU be when your twenty condoms of Ketracel White burst?
It's a Klingon with a Cling-On
You call that fresh Gagh?
Garak: And once your new dress is ready, may I direct you to the hair stylist down the Promenade? After all, today is a good day to dye.
B'Etor: *pauses, then starts snickering* Okay, that...was actually...*struggles to not burst into laughter*...kinda funny...
Do my shoulders look big in this?
Nothing warms a mom's heart more than when her son is granted an early parole.
She should NEVER have named him P'rol in the first place, but we all do thing we live to regret.
For Klingons, it is not a matter of IF, but WHEN and HOW PAINFULLY looks could kill.
That look on your face when you are talking to that guy you are interested in, but last night's Taco Bell chooses that moment to make it's explosive debut in the form of a gas that could stun a Targ at 25 paces.
I wouldn't want to 'rub shoulders' with her at the next party..
Klingon mating rituals: Prepare to die, puny weakling!
"C'mon gorgeous, pucker up! Close your eyes an' it won't be so bad!"
Another victim of the suppository from last month's caption competition.
Melania in the morning
"Yeh! Reckon I'm gonna clean up at the World Gurning Championship at Egremont Crab Fair this year!"
(P.S. Yes, that IS a real event - look it up!)
"Gowron thinks he has the biggest bug-eyes in the Klingon Empire? Well, watch THIS!"


Copyright Graham Kennedy Page views : 42,620 Release date : 1 Nov 2018