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|mwhittington||"If Leiutenant Paris and I got into a fight, I would mop the floor with him! I would give him such a pounding he would beg for mercy! Why I would... He's right behind me, isn't he?"|
|Chromedome||At the final of the "Most Irritating Sci-Fi Character" contest, Neelix lets rip at Jar Jar Binks while Paris looks on. Wesley Crusher was prevented from entering because that would have been too easy.|
|Chromedome||In a sadistic mood, Paris tells Neelix that the scriptwriters have worked out how to bring Wesley Crusher on board.|
|Miss Marple||Let me get this straight: Trumps's "hair plugs" surgery was inspired by Nelix's character?|
|Miss Marple||Trump continues to hold campaign rallies for what seems like hundreds of years after the election is over.|
|Bird of Prey||If Neelix' hair starts to remind you of your toothbrush, it's time to get a new toothbrush.|
|Miss Marple||Now that you think about it, when Nelix cooks, shouldn’t he wear a net on his whiskers or whatever those things are?|
|Miss Marple||Talaxian Tai Chi included using facial movements, lots and lots facial movements.|
|Miss Marple||Nelix, to self: What a DEAL! Lieutenant Paris just traded me this brand new Samsung Note 7 for a single day’s replicator rations. He acted like it was burning a hole in his pocket ….|
|Frankie Chestnuts||Neelix: "PLEASE, Mr. Paris... There are FOUR more urinals you could be using."|
|EMH_MkI||Neelix responds to the 'But what about second breakfast?' quip.|
|Bird of Prey||It was only after taking a closer look that Tom realized that all the colors on Neelix' clothes weren't dye, but in fact dozens of food splotches acquired during his many years of sloppy cooking.|
|Niall Johnson||A...Q... Question Mark... Seven... Smiley Face...|
|Horta not Vorta||"I Like Big Butts. I cannot lie."|
|EMH_MkI||Guess who's getting extra servings of leola root and beans? That's right, you are, mister!|
|EMH_MkI||'Posers, the Space Musical' didn't quite take off.|
|EMH_MkI||And who do you think was responsible for that clog last month? That's right.|
|Mr. Worf||Tom looks in disbelief as Nelix aruges with himself in a mirror.|
|Barnsiepoo||And I woulda got away with it too if it weren't for you meddling kids.|
|Bird of Prey||Neelix: ''Is this a phaser, or are you just happy to see me?''
Tom: ''Don't keep grossly overestimating your charisma. No-one is happy to see you. This *is* a phaser.''
|AJ||Tom could hardly believe it. It was actually possible for a Star Trek character to be worse than Wesley.|
|Horta not Vorta||Thanks Mr. Paris, but I can wipe that myself.|
|Bird of Prey||Tom: ''...and remember to always stay in front of me while we are on the diplomatic mission to Triggerhappycos IV.''
Neelix: ''Of course! The Captain promoted me to Voyager's official Sentient Shield after all, whatever that means!''
|Frankie Chestnuts||As a backup career, Tom completed his correspondence course as a 'Talaxian Barber'. Unfortunately, Neelix needed a haircut every 48 weeks.
Paris: "What do you think, Nelix... Just a quick trim?"
|Bird of Prey||Neelix: ''Why are you staring at me like that?''
Tom: ''I try to figure out what color your friggin' clothes are!''
|N'tran DS 12||Big Sneeze in 3...2...1...|
|McFortner||Neelix: Just wait until I show you the secret sex tapes of Tom and B'Elanna I have!|
|McFortner||Neelix: Just wait, when Star Trek Discovery comes out we won't be considered the worst series!|
|McFortner||Nelix, SQUEAL LIKE A PIG!|
|Mikey||First, Neelix loved Kes.
Then, Tom loved Kes.
Then, Kes wasn't there, so...
|MR. WORF||Lt. Paris looks on as Nelix's pants drop to the floor , since Tom widened the waistline the night before.|
|Dayana||Ecinemoos are in dire straits, but I can count on this!|
|Janai||cred ca mainile ascunse la spate arata nu neaparat ganduri ascunse ,acest gest il fac si eu si singurul motiv pentru care il fac este neirercdenea in mine si in ce am de spus , este o incercare de a evita sa ma joc cu mainile in timp ce vorbesc , o incercare de a evita emotiile|
|N'tran DS 12||Seconds before a transporter accident generates Peerix|
|Miss Marple||Banksy strikes again... IN SPAAAAAAAAAAAACE!|
|Bird of Prey||Neelix: ''Well, a Talaxian can't change his spots...''
Tom: ''I looked very closely. He really can't!''
|EMH_MkI||From the creators of 'Dude! Where's my Starship!?' comes 'Beavis and Buttead... IN SPAAAACE'|
|EMH_MkI||The Kes Fanclub desperately needs help in their recruitment.|
|EMH_MkI||The spin-off series 'Snark Trek: Voyager' didn't exactly take off.|
|Bird of Prey||Neelix:: ''Pffft! Pffft! PFFFT!!! OK Tom, you were right. One CAN'T whistle after sucking on a slice of lemon!''|
|DBB||"You can't frighten us your sorcerers' ways, Lord Vader. This station is now the ultimate power in the universe!"|
|Cailus||Oh, Tom. I feel for you. It must take a will of iron to see the back of the Neelix's head and not bash it to death...|
|Bird of Prey||Neelix: ''We are not afraid of any Kazons!''
Neelix: ''And if they dare to attack us, Tom will fight them!''
Tom: ''Exact- wait, what!?''
|Miss Marple||Tom, to self: It's hard to believe that his species is so closely related to giraffes.|
|Miss Marple||In an unfortunate coincidence, years ago, Tom had nick-named his penis “Little Nelix”.|
|Miss Marple||Coming soon: a whole slew of juvenile fart jokes!|
|Bird of Prey||Neelix: ''Tom, I think there's something sticking on my back...''
Tom: ''It is! It is a piece of paper. It says 'Kick me!', written in Vulcan script.''
Neelix: ''Huh. It seems that Mr. Tuvok DOES have a sense of humor after all...''
|N'tran DS 12||A Talaxian Moon.|
|Miss Marple||Turns out Tom was SO LAZY he wouldn’t go anywhere if he couldn’t “draft” in some one’s slipstream.
|Miss Marple||Turns out Tom was SO LAZY he wouldn’t walk anywhere if he couldn’t “draft” in some one’s slipstream.
Nelix, taunting: You go Lance Armstrong!
|PegasusJF||Tom: My word Neelix, what have you done to your hair?|
|Miss Marple||Tom, smirking: No, Nelix. I am NOT laughing behind your back.|
|N'tran DS 12||We'll always HAVE Paris.|
|AJ||The next instant, the crew recoiled in horror as Tom drew a knife and cut Neelix's throat.|
Paris: Dammit, Neelix, what the hell did you eat?
|AJ||There, right here. If I put the needle right there, no-one will find the puncture mark and his death will look like a heart attack.|
|AJ||If I stare long enough, I WILL drill a hole into Neelix's skull.|
|AdmiralM||Tom wonders"what does Kes see in Neelix?"|
|Admiral Dunsel||Nelix: "And the winner is..., (opens the envelope) La La Land!"|
|Frankie Chestnuts||In celebration of St. Laxee's Day, Nelix tried to attach "Kiss Me I'm Talaxian" pins on the entire Voyager crew. Paris was not amused.|
|Frankie Chestnuts||Nelix: "Yeah... YOU think you have the market cornered on crappy sequels. Granted, Star Trek V was pretty bad. But you've NEVER seen the Talaxian cult classic "The Spicy Fern Fungus Trilogy." Especially Part III... They just MAILED that one in."|
|Frankie Chestnuts||Paris: "Almost, Nelix... A little to the left. Just a bit more. Good. Now, take a small step forward... PERFECT!. Now, just hold still...
OK, Tuvak... Fire away."
|Chromedome||Tom shows Neelix what a Cosmic Wedgie is.|
|Miss Marple||Nelix: Tom, does this make my ass look big? Tom?|
|MR. WORF||Tom : Nelix , I think you may have insulted that Klingon with
your Gagh . It's best served live.
Nelix : Kapla !!!!
|Bird of Prey||Neelix: ''Tell me if my hair looks good from behind.''
Tom: ''Uh... Depends on your definition of 'good'...''
|Miss Marple||Bad puppetry ... IN SPAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!|
|Frankie Chestnuts||Neelix: "...and that Tom Paris... Let me tell you about HIM! Tom Paris is one pea brained, pompous, pretty boy turd-monger. He slings so much crap I need to wear a hat when I talk to him...
He's right behind me, isn't he?"
|Copyright Graham Kennedy||Page views : 1,724||Release date : 30 Nov -0001|