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|EMH_MkI||T'Pol: Did you try rebooting it?
Archer: At least a dozen times.
T'Pol: Did you unplug and replug it back in?
Archer: That was the second thing we did.
T'Pol: How and WHY on Earth would you operatate a starship to on Windows 95?
Archer: *eyes Tucker*
|PegasusJF||Johnathan Archer, Captain, Savior of Earth, micromanager.|
|PegasusJF||Archer: Look, I got one job on this lousy ship, it's stupid, but I gotta do it!|
|EMH_MkI||T'Pol: I've found the problem. You're still running Windows 2100. And it has never been updated.
Reed: *ducks behinde console*
|Frankie Chestnuts||Archer: "It's alright, Commander... Calm down. Just tell me... Who gave you the haircut?"|
|Bird of Prey||Archer: ''Are you playing Tetris at work again?''
T'Pol: ''This isn't Tetris. It is a Vulcan mind training program that -''
Archer: ''To me it looks very much like Tetris!''
|Cyrus Ramsay||"How come Jolene can read her lines of this monitor while we have to learn ours?"
"Scott, your're the only one who ISN'T using a monitor."
|Gambit36||Archer: "Why are you viewing footage from that bridge security camera?"
T'Pol: "It is apparently being used for a highly illogical waste of talent called a 'Caption Competition'...
|Bird of Prey||T'Pol: ''Captain, why have you replaced the buttons of my console with piano keys?''
Archer: ''We are about to make first contact with an alien species, and I need you to play a series of five tones.''
|Bird of Prey||Archer: ''Where is the 'any key'? Really!? That is your question? It simply means that it doesn't matter which key you press to proceed, only that you press one.''
T'Pol: ''A software that is actually encouraging random button smashing is illogical!''
|Bird of Prey||T'Pol: ''Captain, what was the password again?''
|Chromedome||"Captain, I have hacked into Trip's Amazon account as you ordered. What do I do now?"
"Order him the Big Norgs Deluxe Inflatable Doll."
"Hmmmm, it appears that he has already done that, Captain!"
"Yes, on the same order as a stirrup pump, a yak and a vat of Nutella*."
"No wonder they call him Trippy!"
* = To avoid product placement bias, note that other nut based spreads are available!
|Chromedome||"Yes Captain, you put the jack of hearts on the queen of spades and then the six of clubs goes over here ... isn't that obvious?
|Niall Johnson||Trip, you taped over the Bridge log with you Risa vacation video?|
|Niall Johnson||Call Microsoft. I did not want to upgrade to Windows 10.|
|Chromedome||"I am unable to detect any sign that Commander Tucker has any kind of dress sense."|
|Bird of Prey||''T'Pol's anthropological log, day 465. The alpha silverback tries to groom me again.''|
|AJ||Yes, captain, the minecraft world is now officially larger than the known universe.|
|Frankie Chestnuts||Archer: "T'Pol, please tell me... Who are these birds, and why are they angry?"|
|Dunharrow||Well, Cntl-Alt-Delete didn't work|
|Frankie Chestnuts||T'Pol: "You really can't fathom how difficult this is to do with you hovering over my shoulder like that."
Archer: "I considered sitting on your lap, but I thought that would be even MORE disturbing."
|Miss Marple||Archer, to self: Well, I PROBABLY won't get beaten up over here.|
|EMH_MkI||Archer: Alright, T'pol. Let's show them we mean business. Release the kraken!|
|Copyright Graham Kennedy||Page views : 4,974||Last updated : 1 Jul 2016|