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9 Oct 2011

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The Geek The strangest thing? His mirror counterpart is also Kira.

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The Geek Ahh, the ol' "Set the shaver to stun" prank is about to claim another victim!
Mr. President Reed: (sings) "Ground control to Major Tom..."
Sato: (over comms) "Lieutenant, this is a secure channel for official Starfleet business only."
Reed: "...Commencing countdown, engines on..."
Mr. President Reed: "This is Mork calling Orson. Come in, Orson."
Sato: (over comms) "Captain Archer, I think it's for you."
Mr. President Reed: (sings) "He's a complicated man, but no one understand him but his woman..."
Tucker: "Oh, yes, and how is Inflatable Estelle?"
Frankie Chestnuts Reed: "Hoshi... Please have Major Hayes and Corporal Hawkins report to the Conference Room."
Hoshi: "Right away... We seem to have a bad com-link... What's that buzzing sound."
Reed: "Not a clue... oh yes... also invite Corporal Romero."
Frankie Chestnuts Reed: "I'm so ronery,
So ronery,
So ronery and sadry arone.
There's no one,
Just me onry,
Sitting on my rittle throne."
Frankie Chestnuts Sadly, as the years went by, Mr. Reed not only needed a hearing aid, but one of those reading magnifiers to see the tiny font on all the Enterprise view screens.
Frankie Chestnuts Trip: "Christ.... Is that a zit?! MAKEUP!"
Director: "CUT! CONNER! "
Mr. President Keating: "I went to drama school for this?"
PegasusJF While the right hand painfully endured Reed's singing, the left hand decided to do something about it.
Bird of Prey Malcolm *singing*: ''Can you feel the love tonight...''
Trip: ''We two are alone in a tiny shuttlepod, and not likely to meet anyone else for a long time. So can you please sing a different song? This one unsettles me.''
Miss Marple They SAID it would arrive in 6 weeks... they SAID it was totally silent... they SAID it would arrive in a plain brown wrapper... and they PROMISED they wouldn't sell their mailing list to ANYONE! It better damn work...
Miss Marple Fool proof at-home goiter removal kit. Guaranteed. I can't even read the directions, but I'll look even stupider if I ask for a refund...
TS Malcolm was exiled to practice in a shuttlepod for the "Enterprise Idol" competition.
TS "I've got to cut every hair on my hairy chin chin."
TS What you don't see: Trip laying on the bed waiting for Malcolm to finish shaving...
TS Personal grooming...in SPAAACE!
TS Since Malcolm was in a rush he failed to notice he picked up his mini phase pistol instead of his shaver. Needless to say, Malcolm didn't report for duty that day...
Foxbat "Look, for the last time... I want a Double Cheeseburger, Onion Rings, and A LARGE ORANGE DRINK!!!"
Frankie Chestnuts Reed: "Moby-Dick or, The Whale; by Herman Melville. Read by Malcolm Reed.
Chapter One: Loomings
Call me Ishmael. Some years ago - never mind how long precisely - having little or no money in my purse, and nothing particular to interest me on shore, I thought I would sail about a little and see the watery part of the world. It is a way I have of driving off the spleen, and regulating the circulation....
.
DRIVING OFF THE SPLEEN??"
Frankie Chestnuts Reed (booming voice): "You DARE to come to me for a heart, do you? You clinking, clanking, clattering collection of caligenous junk!"
T'Pol: "Mr. Reed... PLEASE put that away and report for duty."
Frankie Chestnuts Reed (booming voice): "You DARE to come to me for a heart, do you? You clinking, clanking, clattering collection of caligenous junk!"
T'Pol: "Mr. Reed... PLEASE put that away and report for duty."
Reed (still booming voice): "And you, Scarecrow, have the affrontery to ask for a brain, you billowing bale of bovine fodder!"
Archer: "MALCOLM!"
Miss Marple Malcolm's secret, SECRET shame was that he could not keep a stiff upper lip, and this Swedish mail-order device truly WAS his last hope.
Frankie Chestnuts Malcolm: " ...today -ay, -ay... I consider myself -self, -self... the luckiest man -man, -man... on the face of the earth -earth, -earth."

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© Graham & Ian Kennedy Page views : 14,508 Last updated : 9 Oct 2011